Wife husband Jokes - page 19

No Time to Talk

It’s a really busy day at work, so when the wife phones her husband, he says there just isn’t time to talk right now. “Oh, okay,” says his wife. “Just wanted to give you some news and some bad news. Do you have time for either?” The husband answers, “Well, like I said, it’s really a zoo around here. Why don’t you just quickly give me the good news, and I’ll get the bad news tonight when we’re home together?”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNo Time to Talk

Monthly wages

A husband comes home one day to find his wife on the porch, bags packed waiting for a taxi. The husband asked, where are you going? The wife replied, I found out I can go to Las Vegas and earn $200.00 for what I give you for free, so I’m going. Before the taxi came, the wife turned around and found her husband standing behind her with his bags packed, too. The wife asked him where he was going. The…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMonthly wages

Drunk & lost

A man at a bar gets really drunk. Some guys decide to be good Samaritans and get him home. So they pick him up off the floor drag him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls three times. When they to the house, they help him out of the car and he falls down four more times. They ring the bell, and one says, “Here’s your husband, missus.” The man’s wife says, “Where the hell is…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDrunk & lost

Funny from the Headlines

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFunny from the Headlines

Honeymoon gifts

The day before his wedding this guy decides to play a game of baseball with his buddies. Playing shortstop he gets hit in the ‘nads with a line drive. He goes to the doctor in a lot of pain, but the doctor tells him there is nothing he can do except wrap it up. So the doc takes a few tongue depressors and wraps it in a splint. The next night on his honeymoon his lovely wife comes to him…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeHoneymoon gifts

Who’s the Dog?

A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name “Marylou” written on it,” she said, furious. “You had better have an explanation!” “Calm down, Honey,” the man replied. “Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.” The next morning, his wife…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWho’s the Dog?

Grandpa?

Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife. To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy. I soon became…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGrandpa?

Ask and Ye Shall Be Answered

A man and his wife have finished watching a TV movie about a woman who hires a private investigator to find out if her husband is really cheating on her. The man turns to his wife and asks, “Would you do what that woman on TV did?” The woman thinks for a moment and then says, “Well, probably not so much to find out who the other woman is but to see if I could find out what in heaven’s…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAsk and Ye Shall Be Answered

Fun at the Airport

An American businessman and his wife had just arrived in Southeast Asia and were looking for a taxi outside the air terminal when they were approached by a pimp. “Hey, Boss,” he said, “I got lots beautiful girls. You want to try my girls?” “Get away from us” said the husband “before I call the cops.” “Oh,” said the pimp, “I got lots cute boys too, Maybe you like to try my boys.” “I want the American Ambassador!” demanded the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFun at the Airport

Diagnosis

A man had gone to see the doctor several hours before and his wife was worried about him. Finally the doctor’s office called and the doctor said, “Mrs. Smith, I have some bad news. I’m afraid your husband is very sick.” The woman said, “Oh my God, what does he have, doctor?” The doctor replied, “Well, that’s just it- he either has AIDS or Alzheimer’s Disease. I need your help to figure out which one it is.” The woman, “Of…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDiagnosis