Wee wee Jokes - page 95

Joining a new church

A newlywed, a middle-aged and an elderly couple are interested in joining a new church. When they meet with their potential Pastor, he tells them that in order to join the church they would have to remain chaste for the next two weeks. Two weeks later, the three couples return to meet with the Pastor. He asks the elderly couple, “Did you remain chaste over the two weeks?” The husband replies, “Well, we really didn’t have too much of a…

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Food for Thought

Well, I’ve done a little research, and what I’ve discovered should make anyone think twice before eating that incredibly mind-boggling and oh so dangerous food: Bread! 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality…

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Blonde’s Cooking Diary

Dear Diary, Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It’s fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said, “Beat 12 eggs separately.” The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. ” Tuesday: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, “Serve without dressing.” So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. Wednesday: A good day for rice. Recipe said,…

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The Lottery Prayer

A man, named David, was feeling down because he was overdue on his bills and he was threatened to be evicted. So he went to a church and knelt down and said, “Please God, I know I don’t do this a lot, but I need your help. I need some money. Please, God, let me win the lottery. I trust in you.” Then David left the church, hopeful that he’d soon see results. A week went by and he didn’t…

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Grandmother’s Gift

Young Benjamin’s grandmother had given him two sweaters for his birthday. He had arranged to visit his grandmother that weekend and was agonizing over which of the two sweaters to wear. After what seemed like hours of deliberation, he chose one. On the appointed day, he put it on and went to visit his grandmother. She greeted him at the door, took one look at the sweater, and said, “So you didn’t like the other one?”

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A Condition of Probation

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in…

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Little Johnny’s Defense

Wednesday morning, Little Johnny comes into class late. The teacher called him to her desk and said, “Johnny, This is the third time you’ve been tardy this week.” Thinking of a punishment she says, “I want you to make a sentence out of these three words: defense, deduct, and detail.” So at recess Johnny comes back into the room and tells her that he’s done. He recites it to her: “De head of de duck goes over de fence before…

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Read JokeLittle Johnny’s Defense