High Sperm Count
How do you know a guy’s got a high sperm count? A. When his dates have to chew before swallowing.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Wall to wall Jokes - page 2
Trust Me, I’m a Doctor!
A few days before his proctologic exam, a one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for awhile, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed the doctor’s instructions, undressed and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man’s rear was that glass eye staring right back at him! Taken aback, the doctor said, “You know, you really must…
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Returning to Capistrano
Every March 19, without fail, the swallows come back to Capistrano. Ever wonder why? Maybe it’s to see the human tourists who, without fail, return to Capistrano every March 19.
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The Son in Law
An old lady and her husband are walking to their house one night after an evening out on the town. She hears a buzzing noise and searches throughout the house to see what it is but can’t figure it out. So she goes in to her daughter’s room to find her on the end of her bed with a vibrator. The old lady says, “What the hell are you doing!!??” The daughter replies, “Mom, I am 40 years old, I’m…
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Too Stupid
This is the actual telephone dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?” “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.” “What sort of trouble?” “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.” “Went away?” “They disappeared.” “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?” “Nothing.” “Nothing?” “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.” “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get…
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how deep is your love?
Q: What is the difference between love, true love, and showing off? A: spitting, swallowing, and gargling
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Green Side Up
One day there was a lady who wanted to have her wallpaper put up. She didn’t feel like learning how, so she hired a contractor. The contractor came out for the estimate, and she told him that she wanted red in the living room. The man wrote it down and yelled out of an open window “GREEN SIDE UP!”. The lady was a bit shocked, needless to say. She thought the man was a little peculiar. The dining room was…
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I’m A Believer!
A Scottish atheist was spending a quiet day fishing in the lake when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting below to swallow them both. As the Scotsman sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”…
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Pardon Me!
A flat-chested blonde wanted to have her breasts enlarged but she did not want to undergo surgery. So she consulted a witch doctor who gave her a pill to swallow. After swallowing the pill, the blonde was told by the witch doctor that what she had swallowed was a magic pill. Everytime a man would say the word ‘pardon’ to her, her breasts would grow an inch bigger. After leaving the office of the witch doctor, the blonde bumped into…
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Polite Departure
Leaving a plush night club one evening, a miserly gentleman walked past the doorman without tipping him. Nevertheless, the doorman graciously helped the man into a taxi with a flourish and said, pleasantly, “By the way, Sir, in case you happen to lose your wallet on the way home, just remember that you didn’t pull it out here.”
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