Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Benny: “Now you take my grandpa, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too.” Louie: “Wow, that’s incredible. How did he know all of that?” Benny: “A judge told him.”
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Well, I’ve done a little research, and what I’ve discovered should make anyone think twice before eating that incredibly mind-boggling and oh so dangerous food: Bread! 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality…
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Dear Diary, Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It’s fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said, “Beat 12 eggs separately.” The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. ” Tuesday: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, “Serve without dressing.” So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. Wednesday: A good day for rice. Recipe said,…
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Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastor’s son, replied, “That’s nothin’. My dad owns hell.” “No way!” another boy scoffed. “How can a man own hell?” “Sure he can,” the preacher’s son said. “My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night.”
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A man, named David, was feeling down because he was overdue on his bills and he was threatened to be evicted. So he went to a church and knelt down and said, “Please God, I know I don’t do this a lot, but I need your help. I need some money. Please, God, let me win the lottery. I trust in you.” Then David left the church, hopeful that he’d soon see results. A week went by and he didn’t…
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A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside…
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This guy was walking down the fairway toward the green when he spots a funeral procession passing by. He stops and takes his hat off,bows his head,meditates for a few minutes and continues walking toward the green. When he gets there, the foursome in front stops him to say that his jesture on the fairway was one of the most compasionate things they ever saw.He told them it was the least he could do seeing how he was married to…
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Young Benjamin’s grandmother had given him two sweaters for his birthday. He had arranged to visit his grandmother that weekend and was agonizing over which of the two sweaters to wear. After what seemed like hours of deliberation, he chose one. On the appointed day, he put it on and went to visit his grandmother. She greeted him at the door, took one look at the sweater, and said, “So you didn’t like the other one?”
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The following was seen on a bumper sticker. “You can grow your own dope. Plant a man”
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An Avon lady gets on to an elevator after going door to door in a high-rise apartment complex. After going back down three floors, she rips the loudest most foul-smelling fart anyone’s ever done figuring no one would get on with her. The elevator stops at the next floor. Thinking fast she pulls out a bottle of a pine-scented fragrance and sprays it all over the elevator as much as she can before the door opens. A man got on…
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