Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…
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This blonde is at a vending machine, she puts in a dollar coin, pushes a button and out comes a Coke. She is somewhat amazed by this and she proceeds by inserting another coin, pushing a button and getting another Coke, this time she is extremely excited. She places the two Cokes down and continues to buy more and more and more until she had over 50 Cokes surrounding her. Two males walk by and witness this lady at the…
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A woman went to the same pet store weekly to buy cat food. Each time she walked in, the parrot on his perch at the door would whistle, and say, “You are sooo fat and, MAN, are you ugly!” This went on for sometime and eventually, in tears, the sensitive woman approached the manager and asked him to do something about the rude parrot. The manager apologized to the woman, telling her that was the only phrase the parrot knew,…
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Once there was this officer who heard a sneeze behind him from a group of four soldiers who were under his command so he went to them and asked, “Who sneezed?” but no one answered. So he asked again, but they were afraid to tell him; so he got MAD, and asked the first man, “Who sneezed?” When he didn’t answer, he shot him. Then asked the second one who didn’t know what to do, so he shot him. The…
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A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place . . . The man says, “What’s the problem, Officer?” Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55-zone.” Man: “No Sir, I was going 65.” Wife: “Oh, Harry, you were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: “I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.” Man: “Broken tail light? I didn’t…
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Q. Whats the definition of disgusting? A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny’s pussy and sucking out thirteen. Q. What’s the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? A. Getting her out of the wheelchair! Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again! Q. Why do men pay…
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It was 5 o’clock in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walked in and bellowed, “This is a birthday suit inspection! I wanna see you all formed up outside and butt naked now!” The soldiers quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks. The sergeant walked out and yelled, “Close up the ranks and…
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Did you hear that Bill Clinton has started his own line of cigars? …he calls them Sir Walter Lewinskis
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Two drunks, Hawthorne and Woods, wake up one morning. Woods says, “How the hell are we gonna get drunk today? All I’ve got is forty cents.” Hawthorne says, “Gimme the money, I’ve got an idea.” He goes into a deli, comes out with a hot dog and says, “Come on. Let’s go to the bar.” When they get to the bar, Hawthorne pulls down Woods’ zipper, sticks in the hot dog, and pulls the zipper up tight enough to hold…
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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. “So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home. “Great,” Little Johnny replied. “Did you and your father have a good time?” asked his mother. “Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!”
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