Wa wa Jokes - page 423

Self Control

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. It won’t be long.” He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little…

(5)Loading...

Read JokeSelf Control

The Therapist Golfer

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Therapist Golfer

Notre Dame Football Confession

Years ago the chaplain of the Notre Dame football team was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an unsportmans-like manner at a recent football game. “I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents.” “Ahhh that’s a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin’,” the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNotre Dame Football Confession

Blonde, Brunette, Redhead

There were 3 friends: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They went on a trip by car. They were driving along when their car broke down. They decided to camp out. The brunette said, “I’ll get the sleeping bags so we don’t have to sleep on the hard, dirty ground.” The redhead said, “I’ll get the cantines so when we get thirsty we’ll have water near.” The blonde said, “Well, I’ll take the door off the car so when…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBlonde, Brunette, Redhead

What’s the Lesson Here

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th Grade Class about the evils of liquor, so he developed an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, Class, observe these worms closely,” said the professor, putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm was put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully for a few seconds…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhat’s the Lesson Here

A Visit to the Biker Bar

An old woman goes into a biker bar. She demands to talk to the leader. A tough-looking bearded biker stands up. “I wanna join your gang!” she says. The biker thinks for a second. “Do you have any tatoos?” he asks. “Sure,” as she bares her arm. “Hmmm, do you have a leather jacket?” “Out on my hog,” she says. “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?” “No, but I’ve been swung around the room by my tits!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA Visit to the Biker Bar

Mix

*Why do Bees hum? Because they don’t know the words. *Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work. *What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A Woolly Jumper. *Why do birds fly south in autumn? Because it is too far to walk. *What is yellow and very dangerous? Sharkinfested custard. *What has an eye and doesn’t cry? A needle. * When does Thursday come before Wednesday? In a dictionary. *What has wings and…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMix

Jesus at the gates

St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for new arrivals. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.” “Sounds easy enough. OK.” So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeJesus at the gates