Wa wa Jokes - page 400

Dear Abby

Dear Abby, I’ve been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now, I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can’t remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do? – Lovelorn, Portland, OR Dear Lovelorn: If she coughs, fuck her.

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Bad Breath/Stinky Feet

Joey was a great guy with wonderful qualities except for unbelievably stinky feet. Sharon was a fabulous gal with everything going for her except her terrible breath. Because of these qualities neither dared to date anyone. When they met, however, they knew they were right for each other. As the relationship grew neither could reveal their embarrasing features to each other. When Joey wanted to kiss her, Sharon would decline. Sharon would want to take long walks on the beach…

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Short-Term Memory Loss

An elderly widow and widower had been dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said, “Yes.” The next morning when he awoke, he remembered asking her to marry him, but he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so. Wait! No, she looked kinda funny . . . .” After about an hour of trying to remember, to no avail, he got on the telephone and…

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The Funny Dog

A young tough robbed an elderly gentleman walking in his neighborhood. A week later he sees the gentleman walking again but this time he has a small dog that looks like a dachshund. The young tough decides to rob him again but decides to get a ferocious dog to take along. A few days later he sees the man walking with his dog and takes his dog to rob him. As he approaches, the elderly gentleman’s dog grabs the ferocious…

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horny Garry

Five men end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island. After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Garry stands up and says, “I’m so horny, I can’t take it anymore!” So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and…

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Disgusting Records

Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…

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The Marv Albert Song

to be sung to “Walkin In A Winterwonderland” Lacy things – wife is missin’, Didn’t ask her permission, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin’ round in women’s underwear. In the store – there’s a teddy Little straps – like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walking round in women’s underwear. In the office there’s a guy named Marvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He’ll say, “Are you ready?” I’ll say “Whoa, Man!” “Let’s wait until our…

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Pope in a limo

One day the Pope was going to a United Nations meeting in New York. When his plane arrived, the airport was mobbed. Finally, the Pope got into his limo. Because of the mob, the Pope was way behind schedule. So, he told his driver to go faster. His driver went a little faster but not that much. The Pope getting anxious told him to go even faster. The driver slightly went faster. Now the Pope was getting really anxious and…

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Anything For Love

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don’t reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman…

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