Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess I have two mounds upon my bodice I shave my legs, sit down to pee – Can justify any shopping spree Don’t go to a barber, but a beauty salon Can get a massage without a hard-on I can balance my checkbook, can pump my own gas Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass My beauty’s a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit to…
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Holiday Fruitcake Recipe. Sure to lift your spirits: 1 C water 1C sugar 4 eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 fifth Jack Daniels whiskey *Get large mixing bowl *Sample whiskey to check for quality. *Check whiskey again *Pour one level cup of whiskey *Drink *Turn on the electric mixer *Beat one cup of butter in the bowl *Add one seaspoon of tugar and beat again *Cry another tup of whiskey *Dump 2 cups of dried fruit into bowl *Mix on…
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Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now. As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day’s work. He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would…
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Wife says, “Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.” Husband replies, “Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.”
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This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle…
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The class discussion centered on the university’s coed dorms. While the professor said this cohabitation of men and women reflected the newer generation’s relaxed ethical standards, many students disagreed. Finally, one student asked, “You mean you never walked into a woman’s dorm after hours when you were in college?” “Never,” the teacher replied firmly. “I always had to climb in through the window.”
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It has become pretty obvious to me that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When I’m out driving around I’ll see bulls, and once in a great while I suppose I’ll even see a ram. Up the street from me there’s some twins, but I don’t see them much. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions, or scorpions,…
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Just after this guy gets married, he was invited out for a night with “the boys.” He accepts and then tells his new bride not to worry, assuring her, “I’ll be home by midnight, I promise!” Well, the darts were landing just right and the beer was going down easy, and at around 3 AM, drunk as can be, the guy finally stumbles home. Just as he gets in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed three times. Quickly,…
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Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her, and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue one. The father took one step forward, just so he could touch the babies and believe that they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them, the nurse…
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The FBI is looking for a new assassin so they place an ad in the paper. The next day they get three replies. The three men are told to come in for an interview the next day and they need to bring their wives when they come. The next day the three men show up with wives in tow. The first man is called in and they place his wife in a room and give him a gun and tell…
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