Wa wa Jokes - page 322

More Chinese In 5 Minutes

English Phrase/(Chinese Phrase): I think you need a facelift/(Chin Tu Fat) Are you hiding a fugitive?/(Hu Yu Hai Ding?) See me A.S.A.P./(Kum Hai Nao) Stupid man/(Dum Gai) Small Horse/(Tai Ni Po Ni) Did you go to the beach?/(Wai Yu So Tan?) I bumped into a coffe table/(Ai Bang Mai Ni) It’s very dark in here/(Wai So Dim?) Has your flight been delayed?/(Hao Long Wai Ting?) An unauthorized execution/(Lin Ching) I thought you were on a diet/(Wai Yu Mun Ching?) This…

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Two Worms

Two worms live together on a golf course. The first worm says, “What kind of a day is it, I wonder.” The other worm says, “You know, I don’t know, but I was thinking of going up and checking it out.” The first worm says, “That’s a good idea. Why don’t you do that.” So the second worm starts on his way up through the dirt. At the same time, two lady golfers are walking along the fairway. The first…

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Adam & Eve

On day a drunk was in a car accident and died. On the way to heaven an angel stopped him and said you must take a test. If you go to church you should know all the answers. She said when ever he got a question write he would know becuase the bells would chime and the angels would sing. And he got 3 questions right the heavenly gates would open. So they began, the first question was who were…

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5 year old’s view

An old country doctor went away out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the…

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Blondes like you

A blonde is on her way to the mall. As she drives past a field of potatoes, she sees a blonde in a boat rowing in the field. Seeing this, she stops suddenly, jumps out of her car and screams to the blonde in the field, “You know it’s blondes like you that give us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come over and throttle you!”

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The Ugly Little Boy

A husband and wife had two beautiful teen-aged daughters. They had been wanting a boy for some time, so they tried one more time for a boy. Well, nine months later, they had a healthy baby boy. The father was so excited he finally got a boy. He rushed to the nursery to see him. When he got there, he was horrified to see a ugly baby boy in there. He went to see his wife and said, “Did you…

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A Load Off My Mind

This elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider. “Well, Father,” began the old man. “At the beginning of World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s…

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Little Boy

A couple was driving to California on vacation with their young son. As they passed the Colorado River, the boy suddenly shouted out, “Look, Dad, a dang!” His father, having no idea what his son was talking about, asked, “What is a dang, son?” The little boy replied, “Well, it’s really a dam but you told me not to cuss!”

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Isn’t it Ironic?

“Something you’ll never hear a woman say: ‘My, what an attractive scrotum!’” “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?’” “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.” “There are only two reasons to sit on the back row of an airplane: Either you…

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