Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Then there was the dumb blonde who was sitting at her desk one Monday morning weeping her eyes out. Her office mate came over and ask what she was crying about. The blonde said that she was sad because her boyfriend was working on his car over the weekend and the jack broke and cut his finger off. The office mate then asked, “The whole finger?” At which the blonde answered, “No, the one next to it!”
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Then: Long hair. Now: Longing for hair. Then: Keg Now: EKG. Then: Acid rock Now: Acid reflux. Then: Moving to California because it’s cool. Now: Moving to California because it’s hot. Then: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your parents. Now: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your kids. Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Then: Our president’s struggle with Fidel. Now: Our president’s struggle…
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The first-time dad was taking a turn at feeding the baby some strained peas. Naturally, there were traces of the food all over the baby. His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband, who is just staring off into space and says, “What in the world are you doing?” He replied, “I’m just waiting for the first coat to dry, so I can put on another.”
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One day a man is sitting on a stool in his liquor store and a nun walks in. She asked him for a bottle of Yukon Jack. He tells her, “I can’t, you’re a nun.” She tells him it’s medicine, so he agrees. Later he sees her out side drunk as a skunk. She tells him it is medicine. “Mother Superior is constipated, and when she sees me she is going to shit her pants!!!”
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A man walked into a psychiatrist’s office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The doctor said, “I can clearly see your nuts”.
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An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, “PRAISE THE LORD!” Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations that he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!” Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD! God,…
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Three prisoners are captured in the war, and are about to be executed. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. The Italian asks for a Pepperoni Pizza, which he is served and then he`s taken away. The Frenchmen requests a Filet Mignon, which he is served and then is also taken away. The American requests a plate of strawberries. The captors are suprised and reply “STRAWBERRIES?” “Yes, Strawberries.” “But they are out of season!” “I`ll…
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULLOVER!” “NO,” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!” ++++++++++ The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something…
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Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering. One day his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry. After waiting a few minutes she asked, “Did you notice, sir, that I scratched something that you like?” Without looking up from the menu, he replied, “So…
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After a day of fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden, who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters. They are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobsters jump out, and I take them for a walk, only to return for them at the end…
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