Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In days of old when knights were bold and women weren’t invented, they drilled a hole in a tree or pole and shoved in quite contented! There was a young lad named Herkin who was always jerkin his gherkin His mother said “Herkin, stop jerkin your gherkin, your gherkin’s for ferkin, Herkin!
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Santa’s Checkride Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf’s nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight and balance calculations…
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A SNOW DIARY DECEMBER 4 – 5:00 It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful. DECEMBER 9 – We woke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and…
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A man suspected that his wife was having a hearing problem. One night he positioned himself across the room from her as she sat in her favorite chair, her back to him. Softly he asked, “Can you hear me?” When he didn’t get an answer, he moved closer and repeated, “Can you hear me?” Still no answer. He moved closer again and asked, “Can you hear me?” Finally he repeated his question from directly behind his wife’s chair, to which…
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Joe said, “Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females.” “How could you tell them apart, Joe? asked Charlie. “Joe replied, “It was easy. The 3 males were sitting ono a case of beer, and the 2 females were on the phone.”
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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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One evening a man was eating peanuts by throwing them in the air and catching them in his mouth. As he threw one in the air, his wife asked him a question. When the man turned his head, the peanut fell in his ear. He tried to get it out, but his fingers were too big. His wife tried to get the peanut out with a pair of tweezers, but just pushed it in farther. They finally decided to go…
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Sunday dinner with my mother, Adah, my father, Fred, and my three siblings was always a lively event. On one occasion, all of us, except my mother, were in a silly mood, and we began requesting, in rhyme, items at the table. “Please pass the meat, Pete.” “May I have a potatah, Adah.” “I’d give you the moon for a spoon.” After several minutes of this, my mother had heard enough. “Stop this nonsense right now! Let’s have some meaningful…
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Two convicted murderers, who were sentenced to die by lethal injection on the same day, were led to the room where they would meet their Maker. The last rites were performed by the priest, the formal speech was given by the warden and the final prayers were said by the participants. Turning to the first man to die, the warden solemnly asked, “Son, do you have any last request?” “Yes sir, I do,” replied the condemned man. “I love dance…
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A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer’s field. The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The two men were standing there talking when the farmers wife came down the steps. The pilot couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. He asked the farmer, “How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go out and…
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