Wa wa Jokes - page 293

Telemarketing experiences…

As an ex-telemarketer, a couple of incidents happened to me… Let me share them with ya! Me: Hi, may I speak to Mr. Jones? Mr: Speaking. Me: This is Susan calling from Mutual Medical Insurance. Mr: Am I insured with you? Me: No, but we’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will take care of almost all your medical expences. Mr: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Me: We’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will…

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Priest, Minister, and a Rabbi

A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi went camping together so they could discuss the differences between their religions and do a little fishing. After a long night of debate they decide to go to bed, but to continue the discussion while they fished the next morning. The next morning they piled into a row boat with the Priest at the oars. He rowed out about 50 feet from shore when he remembered that he forgot his tackel box. “I’m…

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Door-to-Door Drunk

There was a drunken man in a building complex, frantically knocking on people’s doors. A lady answered, “Who is it?” The drunk replied,”EXCUSE ME! IS YOUR HUSBAND HOME?” The lady replied from behind the door, “Yes he is, can I help you?” The drunk said, “No thanks!” When he knocked on the next door, a woman behind the door answered, “May I help you?” The drunk said,”EXCUSE ME, IS YOUR HUSBAND HOME?” The woman answered, “No, he’s not back from…

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Three Red Lights

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car — both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it; I could have sworn we just went through a red light”. After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again and…

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US Tourists

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. “She’s not from the States.” “Yes I am.” said the wife. He looked at her and asked, “Is he your husband?” “Yes,” she…

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Retired hooker

A hooker has decided to retire after many years of service. She does not want to spend the remaining years of her life alone, so she decides she wants to get married. She had so many perverted man in the past that she wanted only a virgin male about her age to marry. She put out a worldwide ad in search of a virgin male around 55 years old. After a few months and thorough background checks she decided on…

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speeding nuns

There were four nuns in a car one day and the highway patrolman pulled them over. The highway patrolman went up to the nun that was driving and asked if she had any idea how fast she was going. The nun replied, “I always go one under the speed limit so I was going 28 mph.” The state patrolman replied, “Sister you’re on 29 and the speed limit is 55.” The patrolman looked back and saw one of the nuns…

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Rabid Man

The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to see the doctor. The doc examined him and backed away, saying, “I’m extremely sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal.” In shock, the man said, “Could you give me a pen and paper?” “Do you want to write your will?” “No, I want to make a list of…

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NUTS

Phil was driving home from the insurance office where he worked when his right rear tire blew. He bumped along to a stop in front of the State Mental Hospital where he noticed that he was being observed by a patient sitting on the grass. Realizing this was not a dangerous inmate, Phil ignored him and pried off the hubcap. He got the car jacked up and spun the five lug nuts off the wheel, dropping them carefully in the…

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