Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled, and new dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached 15 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour and 25 minutes! When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way…. The first Sunday, my gums were so sore, it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday,…
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A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said “Stay here and be very quiet. I’ll be across the field.” A little while later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son asking, “What’s wrong? I told you to be quiet.” The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks…
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Two guys are sitting at a table in a bar checking out the ladies. They are talking about how the second guy can never seem to pick up any women, so the first guy decides to show him how. “Watch,” he says. I’ll go pick up some women, you watch and learn. “Ok,” says the second guy. The first guy slides up next to a pretty young blonde woman at the bar. He says, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”…
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There was Claudia Schiffer, an Englishman, and an Irishman sitting in a carriage of a real old fashioned train with no lights. When they went through a tunnel, it was all dark. Suddenly, there was a kissing noise and the sound of a slap. When they came out of the tunnel, the Englishman was sitting with his hand on his cheek as if he had been slapped. He was thinking: The Irish fella must’ve kissed Claudia Schiffer and when she…
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A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.” Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.” The conversation has, meanwhile,…
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This is a TRUE story! These people owned a dog and their neighbor, a rabbit. When ever the neighbors put their rabbit outside, the people with a dog would have to bring their dog in. One day the people with the dog came dome and found the dog with a filthy, DEAD, rabbit in its mouth! So they did the only thing they could do, wash it, blow dry it, fluff up the fur and put it back in the…
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else…
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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a Rabbi, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Torah a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it.” After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss…
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A teacher once stood up and said to her class, “Anyone who thinks that they are stupid, please stand up.” No one stood up for a few seconds and then in the back of the room, little Jimmy rose. “Jimmy, why do you think you are stupid?” The teacher asked. Jimmy quickly replied, “Oh I don’t think that, I just didn’t want you standing up there by yourself!”
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”
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