Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A fifth grader was asked by his teacher, “What is the size of the Democratic Party?” “About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. “NO!” exploded the teacher….”I mean how many MEMBERS does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches, anyway?” “Well,” replied the boy, “my father is 6 feet tall, and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says, “I”ve had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!”
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Halloween is fast approaching. Here are a few costume ideas for him and her. They are easy to make and are quite inexpensive. She can go naked except for a pair of boots. He can go naked except for a string hanging around his waist holding a frying pan to cover his private parts. Who will they be? Puss and Boots, and Peter Pan. She can go naked except for a sting holding a lemon in front of her private…
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Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer? A. The joystick is wet. Q. What do a screen door and a blonde have in common? A. The more you bang it the looser it gets. Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass? A. A brain tumor. Q. What is a blondes cheer? A. “I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B.L.O.N…. oh well, I’m blonde, I’m blonde, yea, yea, yea! Q. Why do…
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Then: Long hair Now: Longing for hair Then: Keg Now: EKG Then: Acid rock Now: Acid reflux Then: Moving to California because it’s cool. Now: Moving to California because it’s hot. Then: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your parents. Now: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your kids (grandkids). Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Then: Seeds and stems. Now: Roughage. Then: Popping pills,…
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A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. “Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?” she asks. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?” she inquires. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”…
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Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.” “That’s odd,” her companion replies, “but if we are going to live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor, and they both walk toward the cart. “Two dogs, please,” she says. The vendor is only…
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These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…
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A man wins the lottery and decides to buy a new house, so he goes to the estate agent and says to the agent, “I wanna buy the biggest most expensive house you’ve got!” So the agent says, “Ahh, I’ve been saving something special for an occasion like this.” The agent takes the man up to the house and shows him around. The man likes what he sees and is about to buy the house, when the agent says, “There’s…
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A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott. Nott was shot and Shott was not. In this case it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some said that Nott was not shot. But Shott says that he shot Nott. It may be that the shot Shott shot, shot Nott, or it may be possible that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott himself. We think, however, that the shot Shott shot, shot not Shott, but Nott. Anyway it…
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Clinton walked into a press conference with a pair of white lacy panties under his pit. Gore asked, “Clinton,why do you have a pair of white lacy underwear under your pit?” Clinton said, “It is a patch. I am tring to quit.”
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