Wa wa Jokes - page 113

My e-mail is bigger than your e-mail

Eleven reasons e-mail is like a male reproductive organ: 11. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off. 10. Those who have it think that those who don’t are somehow inferior. 9. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s neat, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it. 8. Many of those who don’t have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call *E-Mail…

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The Cure for The Kid

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.” On her next visit, the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes,” the mother answered. “And how is your son now?” he asked. “Who gives a shit?” she replied.

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Chinese Jews

Rabbi Cohen and Rabbi Goldstein were having dinner at a Chinese restaurant. After dinner while they were having dessert, Rabbi Cohen wondered aloud, “I’ve been thinking this while we’re having dinner and I can’t get it off my mind.” “Well, what’s on your mind?” asked Rabbi Goldstein. “Well, I’ve been thinking if there are any Jews living in China these days,” said Rabbi Cohen. “Why don’t you ask the waiter over there?” asked Rabbi Goldstein as he waved for the…

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Hotel

One day a little girl was sitting in class when her teacher asked her to make a sentence with each word she told her to. The first word was red, so the little girl replied, “I have a red dress.” The teacher said good, your next word is nacho. The little girl replied, “I have a red dress and it’s nacho’s.” The teacher said not quite, but okay, your next word is hotel. The little girl replied, “I have a…

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Cowboys

A cowboy rides into town, hitches up his horse and walks into a bar. He goes up, gets a beer, drinks it, and walks out. Half a second passes and he bursts back into the bar and says, “All right which one of you mule patoots painted my horse’s face yellow?” A huge man-mountain stands up, looks down at the cowboy and says “I did”. The cowboy looks up at him and whispers, “The first coat’s dry.” … The same…

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Nellie & Venus

There was this guy that had car trouble one night while driving in the country. So he went up to this farmer’s house and asked the farmer if he could use the phone to call a tow truck. The farmer said “Ok.” The man called then hung up the phone and said, “The tow truck won’t get here ’till tomorrow because of all this rain, so could I spend the night here?” The farmer said “Ok, as long as you…

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stolen car

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. “Never mind,” said the drunk with a hiccup, “I got in the backseat by mistake.”

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Expensive Martinis

Old Joe walked into a bar and began ordering martini after martini. After each drink, he removed the olives and placed them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks were consumed, Joe got up to leave. “S’cuse me,” said the bartender. “What was that all about?” “Nothing,” answered Joe. “My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives.”

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Read JokeExpensive Martinis