Wa wa Jokes - page 107

Vacation in Vegas

Three buddies from the plant take their wives to Las Vegas for a week’s vacation. The guys take in all the strip shows while the wives play in the casinos, and they all have a wonderful time. When they get home, the guys meet in the plant cafeteria for coffee on Monday morning. Jack says “I been up all night. Brenda kept yelling ‘7 come 11’ in her sleep.” “Same here” says Bob. “Nancy was dreaming about blackjack and kept…

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Black Eye

One night a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she had heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1 1/2 hours later with a black eye. “Did you get hit by the same person?” his captain asked. “No,” he replied. “I stepped on the…

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Golf In Heaven

Two retired men were sitting in the bar at their local golf club, after an appauling round, in rainy, cold miserable conditions, with a pint of beer each. “That was awful today,” said the first man, staring at the table through his pint glass. “Yeah, it was the worst I’ve ever played,” replied the second. “I wonder, do you think they have golf in heaven? I hope so. Just imagine it, the lush rolling hills, crystal clear lakes, immaculate greens,…

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Dennis Rodman

A woman in a bar was picked up by Dennis Rodman, the famous basketball player known for the wildly changing colour and style of his hair. They liked each other and the woman went back with him to his hotel room. He removed his shirt revealing all of his tattoos and she saw, on his right arm was a tattoo that said, “Reebok”. She thought that it was a bit odd and asked him about it. Rodman responded, “When I…

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The Grumpmeyer Diamond

The statuesque blonde walked into a dinner party on the arm of a scowling tycoon. She took her seat at the dinner table while her escort conversed with other guests. A woman sitting nearby couldn’t help staring at the huge gem hanging from her neck. “Excuse me,” the woman said, “but I must tell you… that is the most gorgeous diamond I’ve ever seen.” “Why, thank you. It’s the Grumpmeyer Diamond.” “I’m surprised I’ve never heard of it”, the woman…

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Now That’s a Bad Sign

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had struggled so. He said, a bit sheepishly, “I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of this…

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Final Wishes

3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,”I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful…

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NFL Announcement

The National Football League has announced that the Washington, D. C. franchise will no longer be known as the Washington Redskins. The National Association for the Advancement of Native Americans in a separate announcement took credit for the change, and promised to intensify their efforts to get the Atlanta Braves and Cleveland Indian baseball franchises to do the same. This is result of the combined efforts of Indian groups with other civil rights groups culminating in success after a five…

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Insane Asylum

A man was walking along the side of a wooden fence with an insane asylum on the other side. He could hear the patients yelling “thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” and was wondering what was going on. As he walked along the side of the fence, he noticed a hole and thought he would be able to see what was going on. As he stuck his eye up to the hole a finger poked him in the eye. He could then hear…

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