Virus Jokes - page 3

Desperately seeking technical support

Desperately seeking technical support: I’m currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can’t find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to…

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My Rubber

There was a German, a American and a Pollock on death row. The Warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1 was to be shot, 2 was to be hung, 3 was to be injected with the A.I.D.S. virus. So the German said, “Shoot me right in the head.” (Boom He was dead instantly). Then the American said, “Just hang me.” (Snap he was dead) Then the Pollock said, “Give me some of that AIDS stuff.” They…

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New Software for Y2K

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennia Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…

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Why cybersex is better than the real thing

10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier than changing your real name. 9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional. 8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard. 7. You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself. 6. Viagra! Who needs Viagra? 5. Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends. 4. Three words: No shotgun weddings. 3. All guys look like George Clooney…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Read JokeYo mamma — THE LIST

Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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Swine Flu

As you know, there is a possibility of another outbreak of swine flu during the upcoming months of flu season. In order that you may be on the alert for indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the Swine Flu Virus, you should be aware of the following symptoms associated with this disease: 1) Sore throat 2) Slight headache 3) Moderate to high temperature 4) Nausea or upset stomach 5) An uncontrollable urge to screw in…

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Practical joke

This isn’t exactly a joke in itself, but it’s a PRACTICAL JOKE you can pull on your friends and fellow “onliners”. Tell them to click on the following web site: http:adam.cheshire.net~bcdlepisto What will happen, is the person who does so will have to click 88 TIMES to exit that site! The only other way to exit it, is to TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER! It’s 100% harmless and doesn’t contain a virus, or anything like that. Try it yourself, and have…

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Read JokePractical joke