Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Schwartzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn’t have one, The Pope has one but doesn’t use it, Clinton uses his all the time, Mickey Mouse has an unusual one, George Burns’ was hot, Liberace never used his on women, Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his, We never saw Lucy use Desi’s What is it? A: A LAST NAME!
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A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere — your place or my place, it doesn’t matter to me.” The guy raises his eyebrows and says, “No shit, what law firm do you work for?”
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Weddings: A Jewish father, Moishe, was beset by his eldest son Yitzak… “Father, I am going to marry!” His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Naghila… “Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl?” says the father.. “What is her name?” “O’Brien,” replies the son. “She’s Catholic…” “Oy!” says the father. “But are you happy?” “I’m happy,” says the son. “Ok…as long as you’re happy….my blessings to you both,” replies Moishe. But the father is still counting…
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1. Every time someone calls for a price check, start gobbling like a turkey and run up and down the aisle you’re in until someone asks you what’s wrong. When this happens, walk away passively, cursing under your breath that people are so weird these days. 2. When greeted with a friendly “hello” from your bag-boy, reply, repeating loudly: “No, my name’s not Fred!” while spinning around violently for 30 seconds straight. Try to walk out of the store in…
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories. As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi-stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he put his suitcase in it and got in himself. As he was about to tell the taxi-driver where he wanted to go, the driver asked him: “Where…
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A girl and her boyfriend were on a date. After a nice, leisurely lunch the girl turns to her boyfriend and asks, “So what do you want to do now?” Without missing a beat and with a mischievous grin, the boyfriend responds, “You.”
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A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a make-shift campfire, and, to the ranger’s astonishment, eating a fish and a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. He was soon brought to trial for his crime. The Judge asked the man, “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?” “Yes, I do, Judge,” replied the…
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Yo Mamma’s so fat every time she turns around it’s her birthday!
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Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation, saying, “This is marvelous. What enabled women here to achieve this wonderful reversal of roles?” The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”
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Two hillbillies are having the lunch special at the local diner when they hear an awful choking sound. They turn around to see a woman turning blue from wolfing down a Possumburger too fast. Jethro says to Wilbur, “Think we oughta help?” “Yep” says Wilbur, who walks over to the lady and says, “Kin you breathe?” She shakes her head no. “Kin you talk?” he asks, and again she shakes her head. With that, he grabs her ankles and flips…
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