Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and landed on “Science & Nature.” Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum, and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”
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Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand? A. She moans with the other one. Q. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? A. They put the toilet seat on the stove. Q. How did Helen Keller burn her face? A. She answered the iron. —or—- A. Bobbing for french fries. Q. What did Helen Keller name her seeing-eyed dog? A. Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the stairs? A. Screamed her bloody hands…
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Seven-year-old little Johnny, like other boys his age, are rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered just what it was all about. One day he asked his mother, and she became quite flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains later that night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. So he did this, and the next morning he gave this…
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It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.” “That’s mighty nice of you, ” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.” “Aw, come on,” the farmer insisted. “Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But Pa won’t like it.” After a hearty dinner,…
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Once there was a duck and he walked in to a pharmacy and said,”Got any grapes?” to the Pharmacist. The Pharmacist, confused, said, “We don’t sell grapes here, this is a pharmacy”. So the duck left. One day later the duck came back and asked the same question: “Got any grapes?” The Pharmacist then replied, “We don’t sell grapes here”. So the duck left. Three days later the duck returned and ask for grapes again. The pharmacist was furious; he…
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Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…
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As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: “Mr. President, would you please return the Flight Attendant to her upright position and prepare to land?” A reporter asked Clinton one day, “Was Monica lying?” Clinton responded, “No, she was on her knees.” Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am? A: She wants to make sure that she is the FIRST lady. Q: What is…
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I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…
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HERS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit. 2. Opens window 3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer 4. Arrives at destination presently. HIS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. 2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. 3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. 4. finally rolls down window 5. hocks a loogie 6. pulls up to a 7-11 7. gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky…
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The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…
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