Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, “Thank Heavens, I’ve made it in time! Have you a turkey?” The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only turkey, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 4 12 pounds. “Ah, haven’t you anything bigger?” the woman inquires. The butcher returns the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the…
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A newlywed, a middle-aged and an elderly couple are interested in joining a new church. When they meet with their potential Pastor, he tells them that in order to join the church they would have to remain chaste for the next two weeks. Two weeks later, the three couples return to meet with the Pastor. He asks the elderly couple, “Did you remain chaste over the two weeks?” The husband replies, “Well, we really didn’t have too much of a…
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Well, I’ve done a little research, and what I’ve discovered should make anyone think twice before eating that incredibly mind-boggling and oh so dangerous food: Bread! 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality…
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A man, named David, was feeling down because he was overdue on his bills and he was threatened to be evicted. So he went to a church and knelt down and said, “Please God, I know I don’t do this a lot, but I need your help. I need some money. Please, God, let me win the lottery. I trust in you.” Then David left the church, hopeful that he’d soon see results. A week went by and he didn’t…
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A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside…
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A General was reviewing the troops as they went through their camouflage exercises… “Nice waterfall, soldier!” he said; “Great burning bush!” he said to another. As he passed an old oak tree, it jumped… “#$@%&!!” the General raged. “Get out here soldier!” When the soldier came out, the General said “You know, the lives of the company depend on absolute stillness… what the @#$% happened?!!” The soldier said, “Well sir, I didn’t flinch when the K-9 corps was marking me…
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Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says, “How is the singing career going?” Stevie Wonder replies, “Not too bad! How’s the golf?” Woods replies, “Not too bad. I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right now.” Stevie wonder says, “I always find that why my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for awhile and not think about it. Then, the next time I play,…
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An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when-all of a sudden-a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. “Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really rich.” POOF Her rocking chair turns to solid gold. “And, gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.” POOF She turns into…
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She Was So Blond… …she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”. …she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. …she got stabbed in a shoot-out. …she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DONT WALK”. …she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. …she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order. …she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. …she tried…
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This one bat returned from a long hard day’s work of collecting blood. Upon his return to the bat cave, he proceeded to hang from his perch whereupon a group of his friends noticed the blood from around his mouth. They approached him and continually badgered him to tell the others where he got that blood. Although he was exhausted, he finally agreed to show the other bats where he got the blood under the condition that the other bats…
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