Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…
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This man named Bob was in a golfing tournament and he was paired up with a nun. Bob was up and he just barely missed the hole. Bob: DAMN! I missed! Nun: Please, don’t use that language around me. Bob: Sorry, Sister. Well Bob just barely missed hole 14. Bob: DAMN! I missed! Nun: Sir, if you swear one more time I hope the Gods from heaven will strike you down!!! Bob: Sorry again sister, it won’t happen again. Well…
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A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that, the father went to the telephone an dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?” The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin.…
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Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus, we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled. –=[|]=– A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back,…
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“Mary Had a Little Lamb” Mary had a little sheep, and with this sheep she went to sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram, Mary had a little lamb. “Old Mother Hubbard” Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To get her poor dog a bone, But when she bent over Rover took over And gave her a bone of his own.
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A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to see the second man there. “This is wonderful! Now we’ll be able to have…
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A blonde wanted to sell her old car, but nobody wished to buy a car with 250,000 miles on it. So, she tells her brunette girlfriend at the salon about her problem, and the brunette suggests she take the car to a mechanic friend of hers, who will turn the odometer back by 200,000 miles. The blonde thinks this is a sound suggestion and does so. About a month later, the brunette sees her blonde girlfriend in a store and…
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When Noah had his ark built he called all the animals together. When they had assembled he told all the males he would take away their privates. He said he couldn’t have them making love because it would risk them having children. In return he would give all the males a claim ticket and when they got off the would get their valuables back. So every day for the next 40 days, the rabbits were running in to their wives…
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These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given out in honour of the GM’s fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. “NO VA” means, of course, in Spanish, “it doesn’t go”. 1. The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention that the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?” 2. Coors put its slogan, “Turn It…
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Two blondes were drivin to the airport when they saw a sign which read “Airport left”, so they turned around and went home.
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