Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don’t reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman…
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As a professional clown, John entertains groups at parties and company picnics. Once, an inebriated guest began heckling him in the middle of a performance, disrupting his act. Trying to ignore him wasn’t working, so he used a different tactic. Slipping his arm around his shoulder, John looked him in the eye and said, “Mister, I get paid to dress up and make a fool of myself–what’s your excuse? He said not another word!
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1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings…they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation. 3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. 4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 5. Artificial Intelligence is…
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A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. It won’t be long.” He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little…
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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…
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A man and a woman were just finishing up a first date on the woman’s doorstep. She gives him a kiss and says goodbye. The man says, “Wait a minute. Aren’t you going to invite me upstairs?” The woman, obviously surprised at his question, replies, “Oh, my. Well, I just coudn’t invite a man into my room on the first date!” And the man asks, “Oh? Well how about a last date?”
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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Two vampire bats are hanging upside down in a cave. One bat feels rather hungry. “Let’s go and find some blood,” he suggests. “I don’t think you can get any blood at this time of day,” says the other bat. “Well, I want blood and I want it now!” he says and prepares to take off. “Are you coming with me or not?” “Don’t be stupid, you’ll just waste your time”, says the second bat. The first bat flies away.…
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Fashion model, Twiggy, of the 70s, decided that she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered this upscale department store and approached the saleslady in Lingerie, “Do you have a Size 28AAA-AAA-AAA bra?” The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so Twiggy left the store and proceeded to another department store where she was rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in…
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A couple is golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband says, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows – It’ll cost us a fortune to fix.” The wife tees up and promptly shanks it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringes and says, “I told you to watch out for the houses!…
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