Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day a twenty-something man stepped out of the shower and caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He said to himself, “Hmmm – you know, if it weren’t for these tan lines, I’d have a great tan.” Unfortunately, this guy is too shy to go to a nude beach. But he is determined to have an even all-over tan. He begins to scout of isolated beaches, and he finally discovers one which is almost inaccessible. He decides that the…
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There was an engineer who died and went to heaven. God says, “No, you’re not supposed to be here. You have to go to hell.” So the guy goes to hell and sees the devil. The engineer says to the Devil, “You know what, you need an air conditioner down here.” So the Devil says “You know what, you are right.” So the engineer installs an air conditioner in Hell. The next day the engineer says “You need an escalator…
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A man had gone to see the doctor several hours before and his wife was worried about him. Finally the doctor’s office called and the doctor said, “Mrs. Smith, I have some bad news. I’m afraid your husband is very sick.” The woman said, “Oh my God, what does he have, doctor?” The doctor replied, “Well, that’s just it- he either has AIDS or Alzheimer’s Disease. I need your help to figure out which one it is.” The woman, “Of…
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1. Everyone used to joke about a Starbucks on every corner, and now there is a Starbucks on every corner. 2. People mark December 31st on their calendar as “The End of the World.” 3. Gen-Xers trade their futons in for orthopedic support mattresses. 4. You realize a big family is inefficient and decide to downsize. 5. HBO introduces it’s new channel: HBO Pi – The channel that never repeats. 6. Movie promos brag, “Funniest Movie of the Millenium.” 7.…
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Dear Mom and Dad, Our scout master told us to write our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it all happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I…
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Problem Flow Chart 1. Does it work? 2. If “Yes” go to 4. 3. If “No” go to 6. 4. Leave it alone. Do not touch it. Go to 5. 5. No problem. 6. Did you touch it? 7. If “Yes” go to 9. 8. If “No” go to 10 9. YOU IDIOT!!! Go to 13. 10. Will you get into trouble? 11. If “Yes” go to 18. 12. If “No” go to 16. 13. Does anyone else know? 14.…
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The Top 16 Signs You’re on a Mafia Hit List 16. Your waiter wails in anguish as he tosses you the menu from the kitchen. 15. Your plan to skim protection money was brilliant, unlike your informercial telling others how to do likewise. 14. AOL calls to tell you your ID has changed to Sammy The Weasel. 13. Breaks seem squishy, accelerator’s kinda stuck, and there’s a half-eaten cannoli in your ashtray. 12. Three days in a row, you’ve thrown…
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An obviously underage boy goes into a bar, climbs up onto a stool, and calls the barmaid. “Can I help you little boy?”, she asks. “I’d like a double shot of Jack Daniel’s,” he replies. She exclaims, “What do you want to do, get me into trouble?” “Sounds good to me,” he answers, “but how ’bout the fucking drink first?”
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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette sign up with a tourist group and charter a double-decker bus to go to London. There are only two seats left on the bottom of the bus and only one seat in the top section of the bus available when they board. They decide to take turns riding in the top and flip a coin to see who gets the first turn. The blonde wins the toss. A couple of hours later, it’s…
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Q. Why was there only bread and wine at The Last Supper? A. It was a bunch of men and a potluck dinner.
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