Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were two guys, Tom and John, sitting in a bar. Tom was inexperienced with women, while his friend John was a womanizer. They were just sitting there having their drinks when Tom noticed that there was a very attractive woman staring at him from across the bar. So he said, “John that pretty woman over there is staring at me what should I do?” John said, “Wink at her.” So Tom winks at her. After that the woman waves…
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A notorious burglar observes the day-to-day activities of an old lady who is living alone in an apartment as he waits for an opportunity to rob her place if she ever leaves. Sure enough when the old lady goes out to attend an early evening mass, the burglar goes into action and manages to break into her apartment. However, as the burglar is looking for anything to steal, the old lady unexpectedly comes back to the apartment as she forgets…
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There were these two blonde campers camping in the woods and one of them said: “I have got to go to shit.” The other said, “Go in the woods.” The first said, “I don’t have anything to wipe with.” “Use a dollar” Well he came back with shit all over his hands and the other one asked, “What happened to you?” He replied, “It is hard to wipe with 3 quarters 2 dimes and a nickel.”
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Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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An architect, a painter and a lawyer were all sitting in a bar arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The architect says, “My dog has to be the smartest. Watch… go to it Spot.” The dog then proceeds to design and build a perfect replica of the Eiffel Tower. “Good Boy, Spot!” the architect tells his dog, and hands him a cookie. “That’s nothing,” scoffs the painter. “Watch this… Hit it Rover.” Rover then makes and exact replica of…
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Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.” “That’s odd,” her companion replies, “but if we are going to live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor, and they both walk toward the cart. “Two dogs, please,” she says. The vendor is only…
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EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is hung. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is wastching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. WORRIED:…
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There were three guys talking in a pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The third fellow says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two…
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Corporate Buzzwords for 2000 Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively. Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube Farm:…
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Looking for a place to sit down, a drunk wandered into a church during Sunday services just as the priest was asking, “Who wants to go to Heaven?” The entire congregation waved their hands in the air and responded, “I do, I do!” The drunk began to raise his hand, looked around, and then lowered his hand. Later in his sermon, the priest asked again, “Who wants to go to Heaven?” The entire congregation again answered, “I do, I do!”…
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