Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Father Ralf was the new initiate at St. Clures. The old priest, Father Patrick, was getting worn out by confessional and wanted a game of golf. He had put up a big sign to guide Father Ralf: “Do it yourself confessional – Spitting=1 Hail Mary; lying=2 Hail Marys” and so on. He said to father Ralf, “I’m off to golf now, you look after confession – just follow the chart & everything will be fine.” Ralf had a quiet morning…
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A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. “The doctor is three,” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”
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Two altar boys walked out of the back door of a church, stripped down naked, and jumped in, head first, to a pile of snow, and slid down the hill to the parking lot. A man who just parked his car in the parking lot demanded to know what was going on. One boy said, “It’s OK. Father Flanagan likes to have a couple cold ones after mass”.
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone says, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker”? Are you “broker” after doing business with him? Why do croutons come in airtight packages?…
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A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour, some of the children needed to go to the toilet, so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other female teacher. She was to wait outside the men’s toilet. Soon one of the boys…
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Two privates stationed at Fort Ord were handed shovels and told to bury a large dead animal. While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying. “This here’s a big mule!” “This ain’t no mule, this here’s a donkey.” “Mule!” “Donkey!” Well, this went on for a while until the camp chaplain came by. “What are you boys doing?” “We’re diggin’ a grave for this mule.” “Donkey, dammit!” The chaplain cut in, “Boys, this isn’t either one,…
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During a lull in the rehearsal, the groom and his best man, two long-time friends and playboys, began to compare conquests. The groom, looking out over the crowd, said to his best man, “You know, Bill, except for my wife-to-be, my two sisters and my mother, I’ve made love to every woman in this room.” Bill responded, “Well then, between the two of us, we’ve had them all!!”
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Just after this guy gets married, he was invited out for a night with “the boys.” He accepts and then tells his new bride not to worry, assuring her, “I’ll be home by midnight, I promise!” Well, the darts were landing just right and the beer was going down easy, and at around 3 AM, drunk as can be, the guy finally stumbles home. Just as he gets in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed three times. Quickly,…
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A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for…
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