Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Rabbi went out one Saturday to visit his members. At one house it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the Rabbi had knocked several times. Finally, the Rabbi took out his card and wrote “Ezekiel 44:16” on the back of it, and stuck it in the door. (They shall enter My house, and they shall come near My table, to minister to Me.) The next day, the card turned up in…
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The 3rd grade school teacher says,” O.K. everybody, the word for today is fascinate, and you have to come up with a sentence using that word.” Little Cindy raises her hand and says,”I went to the zoo on Friday, and it was fascinating.” The teacher says, “That’s nice but we want to use fascinate, not fascinating.” Larry raises his hand and says,”I went to a movie Saturday and I was fascinated.” The teacher says,”That’s nice too, but we want to…
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One day a twenty-something man stepped out of the shower and caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He said to himself, “Hmmm – you know, if it weren’t for these tan lines, I’d have a great tan.” Unfortunately, this guy is too shy to go to a nude beach. But he is determined to have an even all-over tan. He begins to scout of isolated beaches, and he finally discovers one which is almost inaccessible. He decides that the…
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Dear Mom and Dad, Our scout master told us to write our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it all happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I…
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Two bikers are sitting at a bar. This big biker comes into the bar and sits down at a stool. The biker next to him has a bowl of soup in front of him and the other biker asks if he is going to eat that. He says go ahead so he starts to eat. 2-3 minutes later he notices a big turd in it and starts to puke and the other biker says, “That’s about how far I got…
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Once upon a time there was a stork family – papa stork, mama stork and baby stork. One evening papa stork didn’t show up for dinner. Mama stork and baby stork left the food out for him but he didn’t come home at all that night. When papa stork finally did come home the next day, baby stork asked, “Papa stork, where were you last night?” “Out making a young couple very happy,” replied papa stork. Several weeks later, mama…
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Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…
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Q & A Q:How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A:Tell him a joke on Thursday. Q:A blonde is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A:Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q:Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses? A:Because he didn’t want them shitting in the streets during parades. Q:Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? A:They always forget the…
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LOG ON: makin’ da vood stove hotter LOG OFF: don’t add no vood MONITOR : keep a eye on da vood stove MEGAHERTZ: vhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da morning FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from piling too much vood RAM: da hydraulic t’ing dat makes da voodsplitter vork DRIVE: gettin’ home during most of da vinter PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season ENTER: come on in WINDOWS: vhat ya shut…
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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,…
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