Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie.” Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting…
(1)
Loading...
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” on the back of a deposit slip. While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that some-one had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street…
(3)Loading...
This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…
(0)Loading...
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men, and soon the ship had left port and was steaming out of the channel. The ensign’s efficieny had been remarkable! In fact the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer…
(1)Loading...
A bus, making it’s daily trip, stopped to pick up an older lady. The lady was carrying a big duffle back and she had it clutched to herself as if she was trying to protect it. She walked to the back of the bus and sat down. Two younger men saw the dufflebag she was clutching and one of them said, “Excuse me, but what’s in the duffle bag. The lady responded, “IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!” The man…
(0)Loading...
Maurice Barrymore was the patriarch of the famous acting family of stage and screen, and was himself an actor and amateur boxer. When he was finally being laid to rest, the straps supporting the coffin became twisted. The coffin, already lowered into the grave, had to be raised again so an adjustment could be made. As it reappeared, Lionel impulsively nudged John and whispered, “How like Father—a curtain call!”
(0)Loading...
President Clinton had been walking around the White House and going to public and private meetings all day with a pair of pink ladies underwear on his left arm. Reporters and staff observed this phenomenon and of course wondered what was going on. Finally, at an afternoon press conference, Sam Donaldson got brave enough to ask the President why he had a pair of ladies panties on his arm. The President looked genuinely surprised, and replied, “Oh, that. It’s the…
(0)Loading...
Subject: phrases you wish you could say at work 1. Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again… 2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try…
(1)Loading...
From the outset, the blind date was a fiasco, and it was intensified by the fact that the fellow was too insensitive, uncouth, and ego-ridden to realize it. The moment of truth came in the supper club as he clutched the girl’s thigh and whispered, “Baby, how’s about our cutting out to my pad so I can slip you nine inches?” There was a moment of silence, and then the girl said, “You know, I really don’t think you could…
(1)Loading...
Feeling a bit paranoid, a rich businessman decided to test the fidelity of his wife and his mistress by putting them both on the same cruise ship vacation in the Caribbean. He booked two adjacent rooms for the two women and then begged off from accompanying them because of business concerns. Once the cruise trip ended, he would question his wife and his mistress separately on each other’s behavior during the cruise without letting on about their relationship with him.…
(1)Loading...