Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two lone soldiers are guarding the trenchline from enemy planes in World War Three. After many minutes of waiting, one plane is seen flying above. “What kind of plane is that, Sergeant?” asked the private. “That’s a German plane. Shoot it down!” and both of them fired at it until it went down. A few minutes later, another plane was seen flying by. The private asked what kind of plane that was. “That’s an American plane. Shoot it down!” and…
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“Winterize your lawn,” the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I’ve fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I’m supposed to winterize it? I hope it’s too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we’ve come up with, outside of thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne’s lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through…
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A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center. Man: “What are you doing here today?” Woman: “Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to give me $5 for it.” Man: Hmmm, that’s interesting. I’m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25. The woman looked thoughtful for a moment, and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in…
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President Franklin D. Roosevelt found the polite small talk of social functions at the White House somewhat tedious. He maintained that those present on such occasions rarely paid much attention to what was said to them. To illustrate the point, he would sometimes amuse himself by greeting guests with the words, “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” The response was invariably one of polite approval. On one occasion, however, the president happened upon an attentive listener. On hearing Roosevelt’s outrageous…
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Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the people at the clerk’s office that she was exempt because of her age. “You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms,” they said. “I’ve already done that,” she replied. “I did it last year.” “You have to do it every year,” she was told. “Why?” came the response. “Do you think I’m going to get younger?”
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Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight10.3, Bar Night 2.5, Weekend Golf 6.1 and Football 5.0 no…
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This poem was written by Mary C. Johnson age 93 of Southfield Nursing home, for a thanks to a doctor that saved her from a disease. The sun was shining brightly, And I could hardly wait, To raise my breakfast window, And gaze upon God’s estate. The breeze was blowing gently, And it brushed the flowers away, All the nature was enchanting, Upon this lovely day. My eyes fell upon a little bird, With a tender yellow bill, Who was…
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Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? Why is the alphabet in that order? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? Do fish get cramps after eating? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”? Why is there only one Monopolies commission? Why do scientists call it “re”search when looking for something new?
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Mujibar was trying to get into America legally through Immigration. The Immigration Officer said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter America.” Mujibar said, “I ready now sir for take testing.” The officer said, “Make a sentence using the words ‘Yellow’, ‘Pink’ and ‘Green’.” Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, “Mister Officer, I ready.” The Officer said, “Go ahead.” Mujibar said, “The telephone goes green,…
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Coming on board the Boeing 747 for the first time in her life, the young blonde can hardly contain her excitement and nervousness at riding a jumbo jet for the very first time. In fact, she is so giddy with excitement that she can barely contain herself. To release tension caused by her nervousness, she starts running up and down the aisle from seat to seat, happily chanting in a very loud voice, “BOEING! BOEING! BOEING! BOEING!” Hearing the ruckus…
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