Hanging Nuts
What did one nut say to the other nut? Why are we the one’s hanging? Dick did the shooting.
(0)
Loading...
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ting Jokes - page 136
Blonde And A Bird
A blonde bought a bird expecting it to talk. After a few days the bird had not said a thing. So she went back to the pet store and asked what she could do to make the bird talk. The guy said to get the bird a ladder so she bought a ladder. The bird never talked. She went back to the store again and asked what she could do to make her bird talk. The guy said to get…
(0)Loading...
Little Johnny’s Christmas
Little Johnnie Christmas – Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do? The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnnie what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what…
(1)Loading...
Toughening Up
My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing. One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulders muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, he would extend his arms straight out to his sides and…
(0)Loading...
Kid’s Bible Stories
The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…
(1)Loading...
Late for Funeral
A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a graveside committal service at a small country cemetery in the Ozarks… There was to be no funeral, just the committal, because the deceased had no family or friends left in town. The young pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon lost his way. After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a half-hour late. The hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were…
(2)Loading...
Bill Clinton’s Prayer
Bill Clinton was in the oval office, breathing a sigh of relief after being found not guilty in the Monica Lewinsky trial, when he found out he now may be found guilty in Contempt of Court in the Paula Jones case. “Oh, God!” Bill cried, “Please have mercy on me!” Immediately there was a bright light in the room and a voice boomed from the light. “Bill, this is God,” the voice said, “and I will grant you any three…
(0)Loading...
New Husband
A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter’s plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband. The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, “I said for you to marry a Rich Doctor!…
(0)Loading...
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually
10. I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly.) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly.) 6. I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly.) 5. I don’t date women where I work. (You’re ugly.) 4. It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly.) 3. I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly.) 2. I’m celibate. (You’re ugly.) ….and…
(0)Loading...
Jogger and a Blonde
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. This blonde girl standing next him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. “What’s that?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust. “Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply. “Oh,” said…
(0)Loading...