Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30. So she decided to be considerate and not rouse him this time. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom, only to find him sitting up in bed, reading. “My Gawd!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose EVERYTHING?!?”
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Being a bit down on his luck, a man goes door-to-door looking for work. Finally at one very nice looking house a compassionate woman offers the man work painting the porch out back. She figures it will take about two hours and offers the man $20 to do the job. He agrees. She gives him a gallon of green paint and a brush and he goes behind the house to work. Barely a half hour later he knocks on the…
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A country boy has come into some money and decides he will go to town. Having never been to town before he strolls up and down the streets looking at the stores, when he comes to a barber shop. “Well,” he says. “I have never had a city hair cut, I think I will get one.” He goes in and sits down and the barber says, “What can I do for you?” Country boy says, “I want the works, everything,…
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I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet Coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers, and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears. I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear. I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And…
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Miss Thelma McDonald, a sweet little old lady, got a great deal of pleasure out of feeding the squirrels in her back yard. There seemed to be a female and a male, whom she named Bonnie and Clyde, and several smaller squirrels whom she assumed were their children. Every morning she would leave mixed nuts under her beautiful sycamore and watch her furry little friends come for breakfast. Her next door neighbor, old Mr. Curdy, did not enjoy the squirrels.…
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Q:What goes “Clip Clop, Clip Clop… BANG! BANG! BANG! Clip Clop, Clip Clop…? A: An Amish drive-by shooting.
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The blonde had been married about a year when one day she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy. Not knowing exactly how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her. “Why are we so happy?” he asked. “Honey, I have some really great news for you!” she said. “Great!” he said. “Tell me what you’re so happy about.” She stopped jumping and was breathless from all the jumping up and down. “I’m pregnant!”…
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Once upon a time, Sam The Clam and Myrtle The Turtle fell in love. Sam Clam, as Myrtle would call him, owned a discotheque and every night both would dance and dance until the wee hours of the morning. One early evening, tragedy struck and Myrtle The Turtle passed away and went to heaven. When she arrived at the pearly gates, St. Peter gave her the customary angel’s wings, a halo, and a harp, and evaluated her life. “Myrtle, you…
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Two blondes were sitting in a booth at a local restaurant when, they overheard a man telling his buddy “stupid blonde” jokes. Then, one blonde said to the other, “I hate people that think all blondes are stupid. Because, I think I’m a really smart blonde.” Then the other blonde said, “Prove that guy wrong. Go home and learn all the capitals to all the states. And we’ll come back and prove him wrong.” So, the blonde went home and…
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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. After he drinks it he looks into his shirt pocket shakes his head and asks for another one. This goes on for a few hours until the bartender starts getting curious. He walks up to the man and asks him what the hell he’s doing. “This is the way it goes”, he answers, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I drink until she looks good…
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