Ting Jokes - page 123

A High-Tech Prayer

As I boot up my PC, my modem dailing next to me, I ask the Lord, give me a sign…. Will I ever get on-line????? If you’d kindly let me through, I’ll byte no more than I can chew. I’ll surf the waves amid the Net, with my mouse, my loyal pet. And through each window I will see the websites that are offered me. Resisting any chat room’s lure, I’ll download only what is pure. If system errors don’t…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA High-Tech Prayer

35 Fun Things to Do While Driving

35 Fun Things to do When Driving 1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang. 3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. 6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke35 Fun Things to Do While Driving

Thoughts on Men and Women

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThoughts on Men and Women

Not-So-Happy Solution

Bubba Wilkes goes in to see Dr. Smith. “Dr. Smith…I’ve got a problem!” exclaimed Bubba. “Just what seems to be the matter, Bubba?” remarked Dr. Smith. “Well, I’ve been having hot flashes on and off for the last 3 weeks and it’s really getting to bother me. Can you check me out to find out what’s wrong?” “No problem, Bubba,” said Dr. Smith. “You know we have one of the best labs in the country next door. We’ll do the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNot-So-Happy Solution

New Cow

TWO MORONS BUY A COW AND TAKE IT HOME. AFTER A FEW DAYS THEY REALIZE THAT THE COW ISN’T DRINKING. THEY DECIDE TO TAKE IT DOWN TO THE RIVER AND FORCE IT TO DRINK. AFTER SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, ONE MORON SAYS TO THE OTHER,”I’LL HOLD HIS HEAD IN THE WATER AND YOU SUCK ON HIS ASS”. AFTER A FEW MINUTES THE MORON AT THE HEAD YELLS BACK TO HIS FRIEND, “IS IT WORKING?”. HIS FRIEND REPLIES, “YES,BUT RAISE HIS HEAD,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNew Cow

Adam and Eve

Susie and John are sitting in Primary class during church, John is sitting behind Susie and starts to fall a sleep. The teacher asks, “what did the sick man say to Jesus?” And the teacher calls on susie, who is sleeping, the answer of the question.Then John pokes susie in the back with a pen.and Susie cries out “Oh,holy Christ!” The teacher asks an other question. “What did Christ say to the lord in his prayr?” And she calls on…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeAdam and Eve

Husband and Wife conversation

Husband- We really got to get rid of it.It’s old and smelly. Wife- Yah,it takes up a lot of room in the house and it’s scaring the kids. Husband- So its settled were getting rid of it. Wife- Yup. Husband- I’ll go get the car ready,you go get it. Wife- Grandpa get ready were going for a ride!!!!!

(1)Loading...

Read JokeHusband and Wife conversation

Mexican Bungee Jumping

Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, “you know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee jumping service in Mexico.” Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they’ll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMexican Bungee Jumping