Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
WHAT IF GOD HAD VOICE MAIL We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this: Thank you for calling The Lord’s House. Please select from the following options: Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS Press 2 for THANKSGIVING Press 3 for COMPLAINTS Press 4 for HEALING Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS Press 6 for…
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Grandma and Grandpa were in the doctor’s office one day. After a brief check-up, the doctor said, “You know Grandpa, you’re 98, your wife is 96, tell me …. after this many years of marriage do you two still have mutual climax?” Grandpa said, “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask grandma.” He yelled to his wife, “Grandma do we still have mutual climax?” Grandma said, “Listen, old man, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…
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Seven-year-old little Johnny, like other boys his age, are rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered just what it was all about. One day he asked his mother, and she became quite flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains later that night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. So he did this, and the next morning he gave this…
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One day a man was sick and tired of winter so he tied his snow shoes on the top of his car and drove south. When he got to Kansas City he pulled over and asked if any one knew what was on top of his car. Someone said, “Aren’t they snow shoes?” “Yes,” he replied and got back in his car then drove further south. Finally he got to S.Carolina and pulled into a gas station. Pointing to the…
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Once there was a duck and he walked in to a pharmacy and said,”Got any grapes?” to the Pharmacist. The Pharmacist, confused, said, “We don’t sell grapes here, this is a pharmacy”. So the duck left. One day later the duck came back and asked the same question: “Got any grapes?” The Pharmacist then replied, “We don’t sell grapes here”. So the duck left. Three days later the duck returned and ask for grapes again. The pharmacist was furious; he…
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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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A girl burdened by a wood eye was always made fun of as a child. She was always called “woodeye”. So at her prom after being rejected for the last time she thought to herself, “Okay I am gonna ask this one last guy to dance and if he makes fun of me he is gonna get smacked.” So as she approached the nerdiest boy in school she asked, “Would you like to dance?” In reply the boy yelled, “WOULD…
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I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…
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The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…
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It is the Christmas season and the judge is in a benevolent mood. He asks the accused man, “Well, Mr. Jones, what crime were you accused of committing this time of the year ?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early, your honor,” replies Mr. Jones humbly. “That’s no crime,” comments the judge. “What time did you do your early Christmas shopping?” “Just before the store opened.”
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