Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Do you have any duck food?” The bartender yells at him, “No, you stupid duck. This is a bar. Of course we don’t have any duck food. Now get out of here, and don’t ever come back!” The next day the same duck walks into the same bar, and says to the bartender, “Hey, do you have any duck food?” The bartender yells at him, “No! I told you…
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One day some kids were walking down the street, and they came upon what looked like a puddle of water. They wanted to know what it was for sure, so they got a handkerchief and drug it through the water, and in front of their eyes the handkerchief disappeared. So, they did it again, and again, and everytime it disappeared. So they said we have got some magic water here. We have got to go get the priest. So, the…
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A man walks into his doctor’s office complaining about a swollen testicle. “My testicle has swelled up to 5 times its normal size, Doc! Can you help me?” “Well let’s take a look,” says the doctor. “I’m kind of embarrassed,” said the man. “You have to promise me you won’t laugh.” “Sir, I’m a doctor. I see this sort of thing all the time. Of course I won’t laugh.” So the man unzipped his pants and a huge testicle plopped…
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Top Ten Times in history when using the “f” word was appropriate: 10) “What the f**k was that?” – Mayor of Hiroshima 9) “Where did all these f**king Indians come from?” – Custer 8) “Any f**king idiot could understand that.” – Einstein 7) “It does SO f**king look like her!” – Picasso 6) “How the f**k did you work that out?” – Pythagoras 5) “You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?” – Michaelangelo 4) “I don’t suppose it’s gonna f**king…
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Two nuns were walking down the alley. The first was fond of mathematics and the second one was fond of logic. They noticed that a man was following them and it was obvious, that he had bad intentions. The first nun, being fond of math, told the other one: “If we continue walking at this pace, he will catch us in —– minutes.” But the second nun thought logically and said: “If we go in different directions, he will go…
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One day a curious little boy went to his mom and said “Mommy mommy, I’ve noticed that big dogs have litlle dogs and big cats have little cats, so how come big planes don’t have little planes?” The mother looked at her boy and said, “I don’t know, ask your father.” So the boy goes and finds his dad. “Daddy, Daddy!” he yelled. “Why do big dogs have little dogs and big cats have little cats, but big planes don’t…
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Some dude is in the jungle on a safari, while photographing birds he loses track of his group, and suddenly he stands in front of a native tribe. He says to himself, “Now I?m in really deep shit!” Suddenly, for the first time in his life he hears a divine voice from above: “No, You?re not. Do you see that big rock in front of you?” “Y-yes!” the man says. The voice booms, “Pick it up and throw it in…
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Oscar Wilde was a poseur and what he said was never necessarily true. However, he was visiting at a friend’s summer house and one morning he did not show up till it was nearly lunchtime. His friend said, “What have you been doing all morning, Oscar?” “Working,” said Wilde. “Accomplish anything?” “Oh, yes, I inserted a comma in a poem I’m writing.” He then disappeared all afternoon. When he showed up for dinner, his friend said, “More work?” “Yes,” said…
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A man and woman marry after a brief courtship and all is well for a time. Eventually they are blessed with child. The woman’s time comes, and as she is taken into the operating room, she calls the husband over. “Honey, there’s something I really have to tell you. There is as an very old tradition in our families that the oldest living male gets to name any new children born to anyone in the family. That means my brother…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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