Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Subject: phrases you wish you could say at work 1. Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again… 2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try…
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A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. “Can I help you, Sir?” “Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was the car the last time you saw it?” “It wassss at the end of thissss key!” the man answers. About that time, the officer looks down and sees that the man’s “thing” is hanging out of…
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How about never? Is never good for you? I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. I like you. You remind me of when I was…
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An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only a little while, Senor”. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican fisherman replied that he…
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Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
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An old golfer was starting to have a very hard time during his game. Since he was 85, it was not unusual that his eyesight was not what it used to be. He would drive the ball quite well, but even though he wore eyeglasses he could not see where the ball would go. Hoping to solve the problem, he asked his older brother, who still had excellent eyesight, for some help. So they both went out on the course…
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Two Priests died and met at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The computer was down, so St. Peter asked them if they would hang out on earth for a week as anything they wanted. They both agreed. The first priest asked to be an eagle for a week. “So be it,” said St. Peter and off the priest went. The second priest asked to if he could be a “Stud” for a week, and St. Peter once again…
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Top 10 houses that you should avoid during trick-or-treating: 10. Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole. 9. Any house made of food. 8. Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement. 7. Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it. 6. Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas. 5. Any house that growls “get out.” 4. Any house where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor.…
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If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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