Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it’s probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog’s fur looks like it’s been rubbed the wrong way, it’s probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it’s probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like…
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This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…
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In filling out an application for a factory job, a man was puzzled for a long time over this question: “Person to notify in case of an accident.” Finally, he wrote, “Anybody in sight.”
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A drunk stumbles out of a bar and sees a nun walking down the sidewalk. He goes over and punches her in the face. The nun is shocked, but before she can do anything, he punches her again, and she falls down. He kicks her a few times, and then he picks her up and throws her against a wall. He puts his face right up to hers and says, “Not very fucking tough tonight, are you, Batman?”
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Subject: phrases you wish you could say at work 1. Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again… 2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try…
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From the outset, the blind date was a fiasco, and it was intensified by the fact that the fellow was too insensitive, uncouth, and ego-ridden to realize it. The moment of truth came in the supper club as he clutched the girl’s thigh and whispered, “Baby, how’s about our cutting out to my pad so I can slip you nine inches?” There was a moment of silence, and then the girl said, “You know, I really don’t think you could…
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A little boy walked up to homeplate in an empty baseball field, with his bat and ball in hand. As he threw the ball up in the air, he proclaimed, “I am the best ball player ever!” He swung with all his might, but missed. He did the same thing and missed again. He picked up the ball, tossed it up one more time, said “I am the best ball player in the world!” Then he swung and missed again.…
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A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. “Can I help you, Sir?” “Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was the car the last time you saw it?” “It wassss at the end of thissss key!” the man answers. About that time, the officer looks down and sees that the man’s “thing” is hanging out of…
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A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he struggled to find appropriate words and said, “I know this must be a very hard time, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell–the nut has already gone to Heaven.” “Ohhh, then you DID know…
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yo mamma is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone. yo mamma is so fat, everytime she wears red, all the neighborhood people come out singing, “go koolaid, go koolaid”. yo mamma is so fat, that when one day while she was bungee jumping in a yellow suit, someone said, “oh my god, someone do something! the sun is falling!”
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