Time is time Jokes - page 124

Where are your Manners?

There were these 3 guys walking up a roadside right next to a cliff. Their names were Fuck You, Shit, and Manners. Well on the way up, Shit fell off, and Manners went down to help him; while Fuck You went to call the police. Fuck You told the cops everything. The lady asked,”O.k, now please tell me your name.” He said, “Fuck You.” The lady said, “Please tell me your name.” Once again he told her his name, “Fuck…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhere are your Manners?

New Broom

A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her basket was filled with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious that she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for yet another price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked, indignantly, “Well, at this rate, I’ll be lucky to get out of here and…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNew Broom

Getting Divorced for the Kids’ Sake

Morris calls his son in New York and says, “Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don’t want to discuss it. I’m merely telling you because you’re my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I’ve made up my mind, I’m divorcing Mama.” The son is shocked and asks his father to tell him what happened. “I don’t want to get into it. My mind is made up.” “But Dad, you just can’t decide to divorce…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGetting Divorced for the Kids’ Sake

Yours for Life

Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, “Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life.” From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, “Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeYours for Life

You know you work in 1990s Corporate America when….

You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say “Oh wow, thanks!” Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube. Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes”, “in your spare time”, “when you’re freed up”, and “I have an opportunity for you.” Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January. Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers”. Change is the norm. Nepotism is…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeYou know you work in 1990s Corporate America when….

red light, green light

Two men were riding in a car when the driver of the car ran a red light. The passenger, scared of getting pulled over — or worse — warned the driver, “You’d better be careful, you’ll get a ticket!” The driver replied, “It’s okay, my brother does it all of the time.” A little further up the road the driver ran yet another red light and treated it with the same regard as the first. Before the passenger could say…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokered light, green light

The Stork Family

Once upon a time there was a stork family – papa stork, mama stork and baby stork. One evening papa stork didn’t show up for dinner. Mama stork and baby stork left the food out for him but he didn’t come home at all that night. When papa stork finally did come home the next day, baby stork asked, “Papa stork, where were you last night?” “Out making a young couple very happy,” replied papa stork. Several weeks later, mama…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Stork Family

Virgins of Heaven

Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question.” “Which is……?”, they replied in unison. “Have you been a good girl?” He asked the first girl. “Oh yes,” she said. “I was a virgin before I got married, and was still a virgin after i got married.” “Very good”, said St.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeVirgins of Heaven

Change of Vacation Plans

A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. “It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas,” the friend observed. “But didn’t you tell me you were planning to visit Colorado?” “Well,” the husband said, “we changed our plans because, uh…” His wife cut in, “Oh, tell the truth, Fred!” He feel silent, and she continued, “You know, it’s just ridiculous. Fred simply will NOT ask for directions.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChange of Vacation Plans