Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day a smurf walks into a biker bar, jumps onto a stool, then the counter and orders a beer. After downing the beer the smurf looks down to the far end of the bar and sees the biggest biker in the place. He then runs down to the biker, looks him square in the eyes, smiles from ear-to-ear, sticks his face in the biker’s beer and goes “bbbbbbb.” After taking his face out of the biker’s beer he runs…
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One day there was a boy and he asked his mom, Mom how old are you? His mom said that is a question you don’t ask a laddy. When the ate dinner the boy asked , Mom how much do you weigh. The Mom said that is a question you don’t ask a laddy. When the Mom tucked the boy in he asked, her Mom why did you and dad get a divorce? Mom said because, just because. The next…
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One day a guy was driving in his car when it broke down. He saw a house and it was raining so he decided to ask if he could stay for the night. So he knocked on the door and a grandma came to the door and he asked if he could stay the night. The Grandma said yes and took him to a room. This room had clothes hanging down and it scratched and tickled his face, so he…
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10. “Read My Lips – No New Interns” 9. “Reward Me For Putting Up With Bill’s Crap For So Long” 8. “Isn’t It Time You Were Disappointed By A Different Clinton?” 7. “Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask How You Can Illegally Contribute To My Campaign” 6. “Vote For Me Or My Husband Will Nail Your Wife” 5. “You Give Me A Vote, I’ll Get Vernon Jordan To Give You A Job” 4. “Still Not Indicted…
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Ron and Elaine had been married ten years, had no children, and were beginning to drift apart. Elaine told her mother one day that she thought her marriage was in trouble. “For God’s sake, Elaine”, said her mother, “you and Ron have to see a marriage counselor. Ron’s a wonderful guy, and you’ll never find anyone who’d be as good to you as he is.” So Elaine phoned her cousin Harriet, who’d been through marriage troubles herself, to get the…
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A middle-aged man is out on a date with a lovely young lady. At the restaurant where they sat having dinner, the young lady asked him. “Have you ever been married? The man says, “Well, yes I was. But, I lost my wife a long time ago.” “How did she die?” asked the young lady. The man replied, “She was eaten by a huge 200 lb pitbull. It’s her own fault, though. She should’ve known how dangerous it was. Why,…
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An Eskimo newcomer just settled down on the outskirts of an Eskimo village. Since he was a stranger, he was not able to make friends that easily with his new neighbors. One day, a neighbor dropped by the newcomer’s igloo and said to the stranger, “I want to welcome you to the village but before you could be accepted as a member of this village, you will have to undergo three traditional initiation rites.” The Eskimo newcomer asked, “What are…
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I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big weenie or huge…
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve some bad new for you … you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room. There he saw his…
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Coming back from a month-long business trip to Asia, a wealthy businessman arrived at the airport where he was fetched by his chauffeur named Jim. On the long drive home, the businessman inquired, “So, Jim, has anything happened while I was away?” Jim replied, “No, sir. I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” The businessman said, “Come now, Jim. I have been away for almost a month. Surely something must have happened in all that time.” Thinking for…
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