Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On his first date with a woman who wasn’t overly intelligent, Ogden decided to take her to the county fair. While walking around and looking at all the festivities, they came to the area where they auction livestock. Ogen’s date walked up to one of the pens and asked, “Ogden, why doesn’t this cow have horns?” “Well,” replied Ogden, ” sometimes cows don’t get horns until they are 7 or 8 years old. And sometimes, cows don’t get horns until…
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A guy’s walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and doesn’t say anything. The guy says, “How old are you?” Johnny says, “Six.” The guy says, “Six? When did you start smoking?” Johnny says, “Right after the first time I got laid.” The guy says, “Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?” Johnny says, “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”
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The young dude in the Old West wanted to be the fastest gunfighter alive. Sitting in a saloon one night, he spotted an old graybeard who had the reputation of having been the greatest gunslinger of his day. The kid sidled up to the old man and told him of his dream. The ancient legend looked him up and down and said, “I got a suggestion that’s sure to help.” “Tell me, tell me!” said the newbie. “Tie the bottom…
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The day before John was to get married he confided in his father that he was scared and asked him his advice as to what he should do. John’s father said, “Son, you must follow your heart as to what’s right but I will tell you this story of the last time I was scared.” John’s father continued: “The year was 1969, I was a paratrouper in the 101st airborn. We were instructed to jump from ten thousand feet into…
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Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked “What do you have under the newspaper, mister?” “A bird,” the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the police asked him what happened,…
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Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, “You know, girls, I have known you all a long time, and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a Keptomaniac. But, don’t worry, I have never stolen from you, and I never will. We have been friends for too long.” The second lady says, “Well, since we are having true confessions, I must get something off my chest, too. I am a Nymphomaniac.…
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Shit may just be the most powerful word in the English language. You can be shit faced, shit out of luck, or have shit for brains With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. Some people know their shit while others…
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Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list: **************************************** 1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. 2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and did not know he had ever been shot. 3. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.…
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Baby Photographer The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.” Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….” “Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting…
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How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite, pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive,…
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