Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife: Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I’ll be home before…
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There was this preacher who was lonely and wanted a companion. So he decided to get a talking parrot. Upon the first day home the parrot says, “Swing the cage, swing the God damn cage.” Stunned and appalled, the preacher took the parrot back to the pet shop where he had bought the parrot. The preacher says to the pet shop owner, “I can’t have this bird cussing in my home I have other preachers and nuns that come to…
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Dear Customers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads “WINDERS 98” and has a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.…
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An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over, “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks again, “Nope.” Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back…
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One day a man was sick and tired of winter so he tied his snow shoes on the top of his car and drove south. When he got to Kansas City he pulled over and asked if any one knew what was on top of his car. Someone said, “Aren’t they snow shoes?” “Yes,” he replied and got back in his car then drove further south. Finally he got to S.Carolina and pulled into a gas station. Pointing to the…
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I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…
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While at work one day, Bob gets a letter telling him that he has been drafted for the war and has two hours to be at the Air Base to make his plane. Thinking he has only two hours, he speeds home to spend them with his wife. On the way he gets stopped several times, and therby loses one hour of his time. When he arrives home, he only has five minutes to pack, and so asks his wife…
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There once was this little boy named Freddy Fucker Faster who had this enormous crush on this little girl named Betty P. One day, Freddy and Betty went to the barn loft and started “getting their groove on.” At suppertime, Freddy’s mom yells for him. She stands on the porch steps and yells, “Freddy Fucker Faster, Freddy Fucker Faster.” Freddy hears his mom and in return says, “I can’t, I’m fuckin’ fast enough.” Then, Betty P’s mom yells for her…
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16) Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of “Lord of the Flies.” 15) Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants. 14) “OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!” 13) Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers. 12) First school fund-raiser is for the Salman Rushdie fatwa reward prize. 11) No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret’s School for the Gender…
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Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result…
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