Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A gentleman spent several hours after work one evening drinking excessively. After gulping down a triple shot of bourbon, he began to feel extremely nauseous. He made a run to the men’s room, but he vomited all over his shirt before he could reach the toilet. “Oh, for the Love of God! My wife is gonna kill me!! I’m not supposed to be out drinking at all and here I am, with alcohol stinking vomit all over my shirt!!” “Not…
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One day over the summer, Little Billy was taking a shower with his father and he looked up and asked his dad what was hanging from his stomach. His dad replied, “That’s my nerve son, because when people hit it I get pissed off.” Later on that evening the father asked Little Billy to run down to the bakery to pick up some buns for dinner. Billy runs down to the bakery but half-way there, he forgets what he was…
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10. “Just reach in and grab the giblets.” 9. “Whew…that’s one terrific spread!” 8. “I am in the mood for a little dark meat!” 7. “Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.” 6. “Talk about a HUGE breast!” 5. “And he forces his way into the end zone!” 4. “She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.” 3. “It’s cool whip time!” 2. “If I don’t unbutton my pants, I am going…
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Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…
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The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don’t reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman…
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Jesus and St. Peter were teeing it up in front of a 250 yard carry over a lake. St. Peter asked Jesus what club he was going to use. Jesus replied, “A 1 Iron.” St. Peter said, “Only Tiger Woods can hit a 1 Iron that far.” Ignoring the advice, Jesus hits 3 balls in the water and starts walking on the water to retrieve his balls. About that time a foursome behind them comes up on the tee, and…
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A woman was looking for the perfect gift to give to her husband on his birthday. While in a pet store she just couldn’t decide on what to get. The clerk suggested a big bull frog. “Well, how much is the frog?” asked the woman. “200 Dollars,” replied the clerk. “Why would I spend 200 dollars on a frog?” she replied back. “Well lady,” the clerk said, “This frog gives head!” So as it turns out the woman buys the…
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1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…
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There was this happily married couple that decided to have a baby. After nine hard long months the mother finally started having contractions and it was time to go to the hospital. The mother was really scared of all the pain she was going to go through so she told the doctors that she wanted all the drugs she could get. The head doctor said, “We have designed a new device that transfers the pain from the mother of the…
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the Points System. —————————————— SIMPLE DUTIES: Making The Bed: You make the bed …………………………………………+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……..0 You throw the…
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