Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Little Johnny came home from school one day and told his mother that he learned a new word. “It starts with an ‘F’ and ends with a ‘K’!” he told her. His mother thought for a moment and smacked him. Little Johnny sobbed, “Mommy, what’s wrong with ‘firetruck’?!”
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Police arrested Charles Brown, a 27 year old white male, resident of Wimbelton, in the pumpkin patch at 11:38 PM Friday. Charles will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the county court house on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing the pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was nobody around here for miles. At least I thought there…
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A blonde was going to hang herself, so she took a rope and a small ladder and headed to a tree in the park. A man passed her as she was setting everything up. He thought nothing of it, so he left. He came back later that day and saw the blonde sitting in the tree with the rope around her neck. “What happened to you? Why do you have a rope around your neck?” asked the man. The blonde…
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A wife is going through her husband’s closet one day when she finds a metal box. Inside the box she finds 3 golf balls and $20,000. She immediately goes downstairs and confronts him with it. Wife: “What is this box for?” Husband: “Well, every time we had bad sex I put a golf ball in the box.” The wife thought this was pretty good seeing as how they had been married for 20 years. Wife: “What is the $20,000 for?”…
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In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…
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I once asked my wife, “What would you do, if you came home one day, and caught me in bed with another woman?” She thought a moment and replied, “Why, I’d be so angry, I probably break her white cane and shoot her guide dog!”
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Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27-year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm one Friday. Davidson was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least, I thought there wasn’t,” he…
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There were these three guys, a White man, a African-American man, and a Portuguese guy. (Here in Hawaii we make fun of Portagees!) They all died in a terrible car crash and went to Heaven. They thought it was great! But there was only one big rule, you could not step on any of the ducks or you’d have to spend the rest of the day with an ugly woman. One day, the African-American and the Portagee were walking around…
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A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lb. due to very serious health risk. As he wondered how the heck he was ever going to do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. “Guaranteed like hell,” he thought to himself, but desperate, he called them up and subscribed to the 3-day, 10-lb. weight loss program. The next day there was a knock at the door and when he answered,…
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(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…
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