Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. Jim excitedly calls…
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An avid golfer goes to the local golf course to get in a couple hours of practice after work one day. He hits a large bucket of balls on the driving range, but still hasn’t corrected the slice he’s working on. Not having enough money to buy another bucket of balls and being all alone on the practice tee, he walks up the edge of the driving range picking up balls in the weeds and bushes so as not to…
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If cigarettes are “coffin nails” is chewing tobacco “coffin glue”? If a “bakers dozen” is 13 is a “politicians dozen” 11? When it says “Sodium Free” is the product free of sodium or are they not charging you for the salt? What was the best thing before sliced bread? After a desert sandstorm do trucks go around and put ice on the roads? If a couch potato eats french fries is it considered cannibalism? If two lovers share the same…
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Off the seventh tee, Doug sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer he discovered that it was an eight iron in the hands of a skeleton. Doug called out to his friend, “Carl, I’ve got trouble down here!” “Whats the matter?” Carl asked…
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps all around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just…
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This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle…
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Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything but the toilet. So mom had to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and took Lil’ Johnny to the doctor. After the examination, the Dr. said, “Well, his unit is too small. An old wives’ tale was to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he…
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If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him – Is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?” When you open a bag of cotton balls,…
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At a cabin way up in the mountains a very large family was seated around a big dinner table and as is customary there was no passing of food. When they wanted something they just stood up and reached for it. Since the table was so long, some of the reaches were pretty far. One of the older boys was sitting at the end and wanted a slice of bread, so he stood up and reached all the way across…
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If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them? If corn oil comes from corn and olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Why do Kamakazie pilots wear helmets? What are Preparations A to G? What do they use to protect shipments of styrofoam? If you shoot a mime, shouldn’t you use a silencer? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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