Thanksgiving Jokes - page 3

DEADLY pickup lines

1) If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? 2) I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 3) If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be YOU by morning! 4) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or “fertilized”? 5) I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. 6) My love for…

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Butterball Turkey Talk-Line’s Greatest Hits

Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff have had their share of memorable calls — inquiries that stand out from the crowd because they’re heartwarming or amusing. We asked some of the veteran staff members to tell us their favorites; plus, we rounded up a bunch of our own personal favorites from the Talk-Line archives. Its hard to beat the call from a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his truck (“Will it…

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No Mistake

During World War II, Mrs. Anderson decided to celebrate Thanksgiving by having several soldiers in as guests. She called the neighboring army base, was connected with one of the first sergeants, and asked that three soldiers be sent to her house the following Thursday. “And Sergeant,” she added, “I do not wish any of them to be Jewish.” “I understand, ma’am,” said the sergeant. Came Thursday and on Mrs. Anderson’s doorstep stood three fine looking black soldiers in spotless uniforms.…

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