The Useful Vegetarian
Q. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A. A salad shooter..
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th Jokes - page 97
Little Johnny’s Visit to the Doctor’s Office
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son Little Johnny, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,” said the doctor calmly, “He’ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.”
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Who REALLY Invented the Internet
An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says… And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far, from town to…
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Three old men
There were three deaf old men in a park and one said, “What’s the time?” The second one said, “Thursday,” and the third said, “So am I, let’s get some coffee!”
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A Trip to the Golden Arches
A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him a verbal jab, “They don’t serve beer here!” The German fellow felt embarrassed, however he turned to the New Yorker with a surprised look on his face and begins to chuckle. “And what’s so funny?” the New Yorker demands. “Oh, nothing really, I just realized how dumb you are. You came here for the…
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wackiness in the workplace
“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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Then & Now, for Babyboomers
Then: Long hair. Now: Longing for hair. Then: Keg Now: EKG. Then: Acid rock Now: Acid reflux. Then: Moving to California because it’s cool. Now: Moving to California because it’s hot. Then: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your parents. Now: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your kids. Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Then: Our president’s struggle with Fidel. Now: Our president’s struggle…
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Dad’s Turn to Feed the Baby
The first-time dad was taking a turn at feeding the baby some strained peas. Naturally, there were traces of the food all over the baby. His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband, who is just staring off into space and says, “What in the world are you doing?” He replied, “I’m just waiting for the first coat to dry, so I can put on another.”
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Bad Breath
Everyone is specializing these days. There’s a spiritualist down the street who advertises that she’s a West Coast authority on bad breath. Calls herself the Super California Mystic, Expert Halitosis.
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Older Brother’s Nursing Comment
When three-year-old Jimmy first saw Mom nursing his newborn baby sister, he asked, “What are you doing?” Mom replied, “Giving your little sister her milk.” Jimmy then asked, “What’s in the other one? Juice?”
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