Th th Jokes - page 630

Mom and Catsup

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it. “It’s the Minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she said to him, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMom and Catsup

Your Mama

Your Mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale. Your Mama is so black that she could swim through tar and leave a streak. Your Mama is so dumb that we rode past the YMCA and she said “Look, somebody spelled MACY’S wrong.” Your Mama so dumb that I taught her the running man and haven’t seen her since. Your Mama so old that she knew Captain Crunch since he was a private.

(2)Loading...

Read JokeYour Mama

Wonder Golf

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says, “How is the singing career going?” Stevie Wonder replies, “Not too bad! How’s the golf?” Woods replies, “Not too bad. I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right now.” Stevie wonder says, “I always find that why my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for awhile and not think about it. Then, the next time I play,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWonder Golf

Crashing

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were trying to get in to see the Olympics without tickets. So, they got to the stadium during one of the main events and discussed how they would be able to attend without paying. The Englishman walked around the stadium and saw a pole lying on the ground and picked it up. He walked to the entrance and said, “Peter. England. Pole vaulting.” The guards let him in without hesitation. While walking, the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCrashing

Poisoned Watermelons

Every morning the local farmer noticed someone had been in his watermelon patch during the night. Unable to stay up and catch them and unwilling to tolerate the constant loss, he put up a sign that said: WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH A STRONG POISON The next morning he went out to inspect his watermelon patch and found that his sign had been altered. It now said: WARNING! TWO OF THESE WATERMELONS HAVE BEEN INJECTED WITH…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePoisoned Watermelons

Confession

An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and I made love to two 18 year old girls. Both of them. Twice.” The priest said: “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?” “Never Father, I’m Jewish.” “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!!!!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeConfession

Sour Confession

Harry confessed to the priest, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, I was with 7 different women last night.” The priest said, “Take seven lemons and eat them.” Harry said, “Will that cleanse me of my sins?” “No,” the priest replied. “But it will get that silly grin off of your face.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSour Confession

(Not so) happily ever after…

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when-all of a sudden-a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. “Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really rich.” POOF Her rocking chair turns to solid gold. “And, gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.” POOF She turns into…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke(Not so) happily ever after…