Th th Jokes - page 606

Drunken Excuses

There was a cop that had pulled a man over when he appeared to be drinking and driving. The cop told him that he was going to have to take a breathalyzer test and the man replied “I can’t do that, I have asthma and can’t hardly breath anyway. The cop said “Well, I guess we will have to go down to the station and get some blood drawn”. The man said “No, I can’t do that, I am anemia…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeDrunken Excuses

Fold ‘em!!!

There was a guy waiting for the elevator and the door opens there is a really hot girl in it a she jumps all over him she say’s “make me feel like a woman” he say’s “get off for a second” he takes off all his clothes and says ” fold ’em bitch!!

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFold ‘em!!!

Minister Doing It Differently

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, I am going to say a single word, and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross.” Immediately, the congregation started singing in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.” The pastor hollered out, “Grace.” The congregation began to sing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.” The…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMinister Doing It Differently

Look Natural

It was graduation day, and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in his cap and gown, posing with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural,” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” Dad answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLook Natural

DOCTORS’ NOTES ON PATIENT CHARTS

(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDOCTORS’ NOTES ON PATIENT CHARTS

Marrying an Ex-Spouse

Why would you ever want to remarry an ex-spouse? It’s like finding some sour milk in your fridge, putting it in the trash for a couple of days, and then wondering, “Gee, I wonder if it’ll taste any better now.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMarrying an Ex-Spouse