Th th Jokes - page 496

Generic Viagra

All Drugs have a generic name. Tylenol is Acetaminophen Advil is Ibuprofen Penicillin is ampillicin And so on… What’s the generic name for Viagra? Mycoxafailin

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Sad blonde

Then there was the dumb blonde who was sitting at her desk one Monday morning weeping her eyes out. Her office mate came over and ask what she was crying about. The blonde said that she was sad because her boyfriend was working on his car over the weekend and the jack broke and cut his finger off. The office mate then asked, “The whole finger?” At which the blonde answered, “No, the one next to it!”

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It’s Medicine, Honest

One day a man is sitting on a stool in his liquor store and a nun walks in. She asked him for a bottle of Yukon Jack. He tells her, “I can’t, you’re a nun.” She tells him it’s medicine, so he agrees. Later he sees her out side drunk as a skunk. She tells him it is medicine. “Mother Superior is constipated, and when she sees me she is going to shit her pants!!!”

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Read JokeIt’s Medicine, Honest

Honeymoon Troubles

A couple return from their honeymoon, and it’s obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom’s best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong. “Well,” replied the man, “when we had finished making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom, and I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.” “Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that too much,” said his friend. I’m sure your wife will…

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Last meal

Three prisoners are captured in the war, and are about to be executed. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. The Italian asks for a Pepperoni Pizza, which he is served and then he`s taken away. The Frenchmen requests a Filet Mignon, which he is served and then is also taken away. The American requests a plate of strawberries. The captors are suprised and reply “STRAWBERRIES?” “Yes, Strawberries.” “But they are out of season!” “I`ll…

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Some more awful blonde jokes

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULLOVER!” “NO,” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!” ++++++++++ The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something…

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A Finicky Customer

Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering. One day his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry. After waiting a few minutes she asked, “Did you notice, sir, that I scratched something that you like?” Without looking up from the menu, he replied, “So…

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Illegal Lobster Fishing

After a day of fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden, who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters. They are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobsters jump out, and I take them for a walk, only to return for them at the end…

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Read JokeIllegal Lobster Fishing