Out of the Mouths of Babes
My toddler and I were shopping, when a heavily-tattooed man strolled by. My daughter’s eyes grew wide as she said, “I bet HIS mommy took away all HIS markers!”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th Jokes - page 19
Snot Nose Smith
A little girls begins her first day at a new school and the teacher tells her to stand up and tell everyone in the class her name. She stands up, faces the class and says loudly, “Snot Nose Smith!” “Young lady,” the teacher says impatiently. “This won’t be tolerated in my class, now say you correct name” “Snot Nose Smith!” She repeats. “Look here Miss Smith, this is your last chance. Now what is your real name?” “Snot Nose Smith!”…
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Medicine Throughout the Ages
0001 AD – Here, eat this root. 1000 AD – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 AD – That prayer is superstition. Here, swallow this potion. 1940 AD – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 AD – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 AD – That antibiotic is dangerous. Here, eat this root!
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The autopsy
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. “You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear.” At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man’s anus, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of…
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Blonde in the fridge
Q. HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A BLONDE WAS IN YOUR FRIDGE? A. THERE IS LIPSTICK ON THE PICKLES.
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Texas vs The Beyond
Sam was very proud of his Texas heritage and lived there until he died. When he arrived in heaven, St. Peter gave him the deluxe tour. Behind the first door was a beautiful tropical beach. Sam poked his head in to look, but quickly announced that Galveston had nicer beaches. Behind the second door was the most mind-boggling amusement park ever imagined, but Sam said he was sure Dallas had more impressive parks. After a dozen more such responses, an…
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the convertible
A blonde, a brunette, and a black man were driving in a convertible. As they drove on a narrow road, a semi broadsided them and their car plunged off a cliff into the lake. Unharmed, the brunette and black man swam to the surface. They couldn’t find the blonde anywhere! A few minutes later, the blonde finally came to the surface. “Where were you?” they asked. The blonde replied, “I couldn’t get the door open!”
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the two blondes
Two blondes walk into a building… Don’t you think one of them would have seen it?
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God travels to Earth
One day God decided to take a trip to Earth, and as he was traveling, He come up to a man who was crying. “My son, why are you crying?” The Lord asked. “Well,” the man sobs, “I was born blind and I have never been able to see the beautiful sunset.” So the Lord heals him and he able to see and the man is happy. Then God travels a little further and notices another man crying. “My son…
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Can You Spell That?
Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Myrddin about his family trip. “We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota.” The teacher asked, “Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?” Little Myrddin thought for a few seconds and said, “Actually, we went to Ohio.”
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