Tent Jokes - page 14

Home Economics – Then and Now

The following is from an ACTUAL 1950’s Home Economics textbook for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life. 1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal – on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the propects of a good meal are part of the…

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Limericks

In days of old when knights were bold and women weren’t invented, they drilled a hole in a tree or pole and shoved in quite contented! There was a young lad named Herkin who was always jerkin his gherkin His mother said “Herkin, stop jerkin your gherkin, your gherkin’s for ferkin, Herkin!

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A Little Flighty

When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. “For example she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,” the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting in the wrong desk.” “I don’t understand that,” I replied, defensively. “Where could she have gotten that?” The teacher went on to reassure me that…

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Who REALLY Invented the Internet

An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says… And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far, from town to…

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God commissions St. Peter

After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. “Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?” God asked. “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There’s drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it. A regular Sodom and Gomorrah. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex.…

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Little Johnny’s Bible Lesson

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill. “Johnny what’s the matter?” she asked. Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

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Two Missionaries In Hot Water

In the deepest jungles of Africa, two missionaries were seized by a tribe of hostile cannibals. The cannibals then stripped the missionaries of their clothing, hogtied them and threw them into a large vat of hot boiling water over an open fire with the intention of boiling them alive. As the missionaries kept praying for a miracle, one of them suddenly burst out laughing. This made the other missionary so confused by his companion’s sudden burst of laughter that he…

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Stupid Car Accident Excuses

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all…

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What’s Yours is Ours

At a small parish in rural New England, there lived a priest and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.” The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property…

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