Talking bout Jokes - page 4

Bear in a Bar

This is a bit of a tongue twister… A bear walks into a bar in Boise Idaho. “Bartender, give me a beer!” To which the bartender replies, “I don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Boise Idaho”. The bear repeats himself, “Bartender, give me a beer!!!” “I’m sorry,” repeats the bartender, “but I don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Boise Idaho”. The bear is becoming upset by this time. “Look,” he says “if you don’t serve me…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBear in a Bar

Bad English

English in Non-English Speaking Countries! Examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world: In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In…

(6)Loading...

Read JokeBad English

How Cold Was It ?

There were these three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo’s igloo, where he said, “Watch this!” and threw a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHow Cold Was It ?

Tampa

MONICA: Bill? When are we going to Florida? BILL: What are you talking about? MONICA: You said if I stayed late at the White House, you’d take me to Florida. BILL: That allegation is absolutely false, Monica. I said that if you stayed late at the White House, I was going to TAMPER with you.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTampa

What’s for Dinner?

Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, “My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house. It’s incredible.” The second guy says, “That’s nothing. My wife thinks I’m God.” “She thinks you’re God? What makes you say that?” “Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhat’s for Dinner?

Rudolph Knows

A few years ago, we invited some friends over for a Christmas party. Many of my colleagues were there, and many of them are German. Helmut, Franz, and Rudolf to name a few. I was talking to Rudolf about his belief in the superiority of the communist party. I grew tired of the discussion so I motioned towards the window and commented on the weather, “I believe it’s snowing.” “No, it looks too wet to be snow,” he said. The…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeRudolph Knows

Fishing Between Generations

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today. The teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young, did they?” Grandpa replies, “Nope.” His grandson says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?” Grandpa replies,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFishing Between Generations

Car Crash Incident

One poor old fellow is driving along one day and has a really bad car accident… he wakes up in hospital and can only see out of one eye… the doctor looks at him and say “I’m sorry, but we had to replace one of your eyes… with a rounded piece of rimu tree” So when he gets out of hospital his mate comes round and tries to cheer him up by taking him to the bar. When they get…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCar Crash Incident

He’s the boss, of course….

There were three guys talking in a pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The third fellow says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHe’s the boss, of course….

An X-File X-Mas Mystery

X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAn X-File X-Mas Mystery